this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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Abuse often works this way.
Usually it's intermittent and when they aren't being abused they are super loving and caring.
This leads to people thinking they are doing something wrong or that the abuser is a loving partner with problems that can be worked on.
Abuse is incredibly complicated and until you've been through it it's really hard to understand how anyone could put up with it.
It's often bi-directional as well. Sadly I know someone in a battered marriage situation and a big part of why they won't leave is bc they don't want the court (they have a kid) to find out they were also getting physical with their spouse. Codependency is a bitch
100%
There's reactive abuse. Where in response to abuse you defend yourself with abusive behaviour. Then the original abuser plays the victim and gas lights you.
My marriage was like this. It was hell.