this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
934 points (96.4% liked)

Greentext

4319 readers
1317 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 102 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.

been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.

Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 82 points 9 months ago (4 children)

It's also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.

[–] frosty99c@midwest.social 86 points 9 months ago (1 children)

A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with 'English as a second language' students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a 'horse bath' in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he'd misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That story's as spicy as whore's radish!

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 14 points 9 months ago

Well, he shouldn't look a gift whore's mouth.

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 26 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm a whore expert and concur with this diagnosis.

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Dad? When are you coming home?

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Soon. Any day now.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 21 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago

"IT'S REAL WORK MOM"

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Daaaaaaaayyyuuuummm, I wonder what was the chatter before the kid yelled that

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

I was split between the kid problem solving their personal money issues, or unintentionally acting obtuse with a word they’ve only heard in passing. Sadly, we’ll never know as my partner felt disinclined toward listening in any further.

[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We always called it military shower.

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 4 points 9 months ago

I thought that was just pits and bits?