this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
930 points (96.4% liked)

Greentext

4003 readers
1921 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
 

drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i'll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs

i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You're really just dropping slurs for fun huh

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Oh buddy, he got you so hard lol

[–] thrawn@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Think he was just playing along

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 7 points 8 months ago (3 children)

No he actually got me, it's the autism

[–] thrawn@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Oops, it would’ve been top tier playing along though

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The what? I just see removed.

[–] zip@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's like I'm looking at a reflection of myself with everything you do/say in this thread, my fellow autismo, lol! Also, your username always makes me smile and gets a kick out of me. Thanks for that!

It's totally understandable how you interpreted things considering how the word filter works, by the way.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 2 points 8 months ago

I'm glad my username makes so many people smile :D

I get comments on it all the time and it makes me glad I picked it

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Probably. I just liked that my comment could be interpreted either way.

[–] thrawn@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Jk I was super wrong!