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how can I develop a thick skin? (feddit.de)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

61 comments fedilink hide all child comments

today was supposed to be my first day of therapy and the therapist didn't show up. I'm pissed off. I wasted 2 hours for nothing.

I've sent her a polite message, asking if she's sick and hoping she is well, but in reality I wanted to yell at her. However, if I yell at her, chances are she won't treat me.

Before you suggest to find another therapist, finding a shrink where I live is very difficult and the other ones I contacted have either ignored me or are overbooked. I need therapy and it bothers me to be so dependent on one person.

For those of you who have experienced something similar, how doesn't it bother you?

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[–] bluespin@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dismissing advice that doesn't work for you personally isn't helpful - different strokes and all. I've dealt with anxiety and have found that rationalizing emotional responses to events outside my control normally works well for me. Ultimately, there's no one-size solution, so people need to try different approaches to find what works for them. A variety of perspectives is always best

[–] KaTaRaNaGa@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I’m pushing back on the notion that telling someone “don’t stress” is in any way helpful.

They would already be not stressed if an obstacle didn’t come up. Telling them to not stress is akin to telling them to not be depressed or to just chill out. There’s no pathway to how. There’s no meeting someone where they’re at. There’s just a well-meaning person lacking emotional tooling to support another.

There are lots of ways to actually provide the support. There are lots of ways for a person to reset their nervous system. “Don’t stress” isn’t either.

[–] bluespin@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

No one is saying simply "don't stress". Recognizing when stress is centered around something outside your influence can be a step toward dealing with it. That may not work for some, but it does for others - as I said, different strokes. Making a broad generalization about what is and isn't good advice is reductive and only shuts down advice that may help OP