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how can I develop a thick skin? (feddit.de)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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today was supposed to be my first day of therapy and the therapist didn't show up. I'm pissed off. I wasted 2 hours for nothing.

I've sent her a polite message, asking if she's sick and hoping she is well, but in reality I wanted to yell at her. However, if I yell at her, chances are she won't treat me.

Before you suggest to find another therapist, finding a shrink where I live is very difficult and the other ones I contacted have either ignored me or are overbooked. I need therapy and it bothers me to be so dependent on one person.

For those of you who have experienced something similar, how doesn't it bother you?

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[–] Alteon@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That's...a really weird way to feel. Essentially, you'd feel safer with someone that lacked empathy? This isn't your buddy, this is a professional. You'd prefer it if your therapist wasn't in control of their emotions, and would rather get angry at you than someone simply saying, "It's okay"?

[–] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

There's something to be said about emotional honesty and transparancy, I suppose. Most of my family's pretty inscrutable, so I'm always much more wary around them than my more heart-on-the-sleeve friends.

For a professional relationship though, ehh yeah i dunno.

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

In a professional setting the real feeling is more likely "stop apologizing so we can get this over with and I can get back to doing the other stuff I have to do" than "I need to punish you for being late".

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee -2 points 10 months ago

Someone who raises their voice isn’t a psychopath wtf?

It just means they have a healthy response to being disrespected.

Note I’m saying “raising the voice” here, not shouting. Someone who shouts when I’m late isn’t a safe person.