this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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How to meet people (lemmy.world)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by MissJinx@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

I'm 41F. I was married but separated 8 years ago. I was still young but was very traumatized and never really wanted another relationship. Lately I've been feeling a little lonely and would like to meet some new people but I moved and don't have many friends here and the ones I have are younger and do younger people things (like going out at night. I'm too old for that lol). I wanted to meet some people my age, friends or dates, but almost everyone is married. I do cooking and French classes but again, only young people do that and I'm the "odd old lady". I think people past 40 don't really have hobbies or money to spend on them. I'm overweight so I can't really use apps, and to be honest don't really want. So how a single woman without kids (can't have it) meet people?! Or do I just give up?! lol

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[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'd like to know too.

My childhood friend ditched his family and swapped for a younger woman from work about a decade ago. Marriage was not the happiest, but I think he jumped the gun. Now the younger woman ditched him and he's alone. His now teenage child is keeping touch, but is not happy about their history.

Guy is miserable and I'm afraid suicide is an option.

Can't get him to take a new hobby, interest or activity. He's been drowning himself in work and I don't think it's helping.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee -1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

With men it’s easier because there are men’s groups. Have your friend join a men’s group. I mean, if he wants to get over his shit. If he’s asking. If he’s not, you can’t really help him.

[–] ohitsbreadley@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Where are these "men's groups" you speak of? As a "man," I've not heard of any, at least none that aren't inherently linked to toxic masc MAN-man personality traits.

[–] sizzler@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

They exist. There's a local group that meets up for a walk once a week and anyone's welcome.

If there's not one near you? Then be the change you want to see.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

For me, men’s groups have been a way to not shoot myself in the head. That’s the key thing in this context. If you’d like to know more, google it.

Obviously stay away from the ones that encourage people to be toxic. That kind of group isn’t helpful.

[–] lattrommi@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

In my area, a medium sized U.S. city, there are no male specific groups.

there are plenty of "women in (insert hobby)" groups and other groups that are designed towards what are considered minorities (in the U.S.), which meetup groups seem to exist for everything except for men, unless the man is also gay or racist or black or transitioning, etc.

i think many people in my area assume that any group which doesn't name a specific minority, is a 'male' group but it's not the case at all. i constantly have trouble finding social activities, because i'm a straight white male. i don't fit in with any of the local meetup group demographics and don't drink or care about sports or videogames.

so in my opinion and experience, i wouldn't say it's easier for men everywhere, just in certain locations perhaps.