this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
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Interesting topic. I've always wanted to do some party work regarding this phenomenon but I haven't yet figured out what. I've always had trouble connecting to other men specifically, mainly because of toxic masculinity I guess, which I feel like must be a big part of the problem here.
A big part of the problem is that alienation is at the core of a capitalist society. Capitalism actively discourages people from simply handing out together, and enjoying life. You're always supposed to be hustling or consuming, all your relationships have to be transactional, and so on. So, toxicity kind of just falls out from people growing up in this fucked up dehumanizing system.
I think creating events where people can just hang out and chat with each other could be a good start. It doesn't have to be about anything in particular. Just sort of meet the neighbours or meet the community type thing. People need a bit of help in order to start being better to each other.
Also, there’s an ideal of having “freedom/control” over your time. Along with misaligned schedules from constantly working, the idea of being able to do whatever you want in your free time further messes with people’s ability to form relationships.
For sure, there's an incredible amount of focus on individualism in western societies and this world view is inherently alienating because it effectively normalizes egoism.