this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2024
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soo... any advice?
I would suggest creating a very modest social media presence that you can connect to people you know IRL and family. Especially family. See if there's a way to run all of that sandboxed though, through a VPN, to minimize privacy leaks. I have a very limited Facebook page, and I have containers set up in Firefox so taht--in theory--Facebook can't access anything else that I'm doing in my browser. Having a desktop browser that you only use for Facebook, et al. might work. (You probably want to be sure that any photos you post are stripped of exif data, and don't have visible landmarks in them; makes geolocation more difficult.) Yes, you probably need to at least create the appearance of a life on Facebook and/or Twitter.
If you are male, you're going to need to make sure that your social media presence contains information that is likely to make potential partners feel safe. I'm going to leave that up to you to decide what that means, but I know what my red flags would be.
Aside from that - for men, my go-to is suggesting that they cultivate a sincere interest in dance, and take modern, jazz, and ballet classes. (Also: get in shape!) My major in college was one that is traditionally dominated by women and gay men; had I been single at the time (and TBH that marriage was a mistake from the beginning), it would have been very, very easy to date, since 90% of the people I was around and working very closely with were women. That said, don't do X, Y, or Z just to meet women, which seems like it's an oxymoron; you need to actually be interested in the thing.