this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2024
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Those are the easy questions to answer.
How about:
What would do if I became sick? Would you abandon me? Would I abandon you if you became sick, or be there for you?
Are you more important to me than your ambitions, your compulsive desires? Which dreams are you willing to compromise on to make this relationship work?
Are we combining or finances or keeping them separate? Do you trust me enough to access your bank account and spend your money?
Are we each willing to compromise on our jobs so that we both can have good, but perhaps not ideal employment?
Can you imagine being old with me? Would you feel like you had missed on your youth, that your opportunities in life were wasted?
These are the kinds of things that destroy marriages. People rarely think about the sacrifices they need to make to be married.
They are also questions that are almost impossible to truly prepare yourself for. Although discussing them beforehand surely does help.
Finances should absolutely be discussed beforehand. I fully support split finances in every relationship, and making it clear at the beginning is much better than later on where it might look like a signal of losing trust.