this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I met a girl that I'm interested in and enjoys comics like I do, would something like asking her out to a comic store be dumb? I have a hard time talking to girls so not sure if this would be a dumb idea.

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[–] hudson@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Buddy, when you raise the stakes this high before you even try, you’ve already lost because you come off as desperate and insecure. THAT is how you end up in whatever this “friend zone” thing is…

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works -2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Why is it desperate and insecure to explicitly ask someone out on a date?

And if you're not sure what the "friendzone" is, then how are you so sure about how to end up in it? Lol

[–] hudson@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Where did i say that? You’re trying too hard, and that’s bad advice to give, especially to someone who would best benefit from relaxing and taking the chill approach. Women appreciate a confident approach that doesn’t come off as too eager. Everyone appreciates that. Being too quick to try to define a relationship that doesn’t even exist can come off as desperate and demanding. Young (all) women want to make up their own minds, so let them! assuming that you know better, or that your needs or desires take priority is not only arrogant, it’s misogynistic.

During the outing, she’ll pick up that OP wants more than a friendship and if she wants more, too, that’s the direction it will go. And if that’s not what she wants, then so be it. OP will have to accept that and move on, and it will be his first lesson in respecting the wishes and decisions of a woman.