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I don't enjoy it when people compliment me. Why could it be? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago by Quintus@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Not to brag but I'm a pretty confident person in my social circle. I'm funny, make people laugh etc. etc.

Basically, I am adored by everybody.

But there is something that I noticed about myself lately. Regularly people come up to me to chat and sometimes they compliment me. Now, complimenting isn't a bad thing, obviously. But I just don't feel anything when I receive them.

However I enjoy it when people talk good things about me when I'm not present. I, again, don't feel anything when people talk shit about me when I'm not present. BUT I really enjoy it when people straight up come at me and say something bad at me. My mood increases and I spend the rest of my day happier.

Is this some kind of a defense/coping mechanism that I have unintentionally developed? I don't see anything bad about this.

It's also worthy to say that I spent the majority of my life isolated up until a few years ago. No compliments at all but nobody to say bad things either. Is this why I fail to appreciate compliments?

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[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sounds to me like you think the compliments are not true and the bad talk is more real. You like compliments when you are not present as you then feel it is more true. Anyway I don't deal with compliments to well but its more an uncomfortable thing on it. At least in my nature. Im getting old and over time you learn (or at least I have) to mitigate some of your things and I think I do somewhat decently taking a compliment and giving them.

[–] Quintus@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 months ago

I think because I don't believe them. But there a number of people that I respect and value the opinion of. What they say about me is absolutely true. But I still act the same towards their compliments.