Asklemmy

43380 readers

1519 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

193

How do I start same-sex dating and romance? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

32 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I've been fighting off writing this for a while now. I even considered making a throwaway for it, but I guess if its too embarrassing I can delete it.

I've sorta come to accept I'm bi in recent years, and I am wondering how I should go about dating and courtship in regards to dating within my same sex (male). Especially since I find femininity to be a key attraction point. I also haven't dated or had sex in like, three years or more. Its been a while, I kinda stopped caring for myself and focused on work, I am slowly trying to become an interesting person again, get back in shape but its hard. I dunno, man. I'm in my mid-30s and I am trying to figure out what I want out of the world. There's a bit of lust involved. And I definitely need a hug at the very least.

Furthermore, I live in the Southern part of the US, and the amount of trans hate has me actively wanting out of here (I'm aiming for Colorado) and dating in this part of the Southeast is already difficult as is, in my prior experiences.

How does one navigate this kind of world after coming out? How do I deal with the stigma especially since in the states, there's a renewed interest in putting people back in the closet?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I get your sentiment, but as a New Yorker who had to come to florida temporarily due to an unavoidable life event: this place is fucked. I don’t feel safe here, and I’m hoping to gtfo asap. I’m in Orlando, and this is a city with a historic LGBTQ+ community I was once part of 27 years ago, but I saw the writing on the wall back then and left. Today it’s even more hostile and dangerous due to what the governor and state government have done and continue to do.

Staying here and “fighting the good fight” simply isn’t an option for most. It’s a serious risk. Look, mad respect to those who do— often those in positions of privilege who can afford to stand up and fight, but many of us are regular folk, struggling to get by as it is. That makes us targets.

In a way, that makes us civil rights refugees… an entire diaspora forced to flee from state-to-state for fear of persecution, imprisonment, and death.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Did you go back to NY? I came from there not long ago, moved to VT due to a relative passing, and can say NY was one of the best places to be, even compared to VT.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I’m (hopefully) about 2 weeks away if my plans work out. I’ll find out in a few days if they will. 🤞🏻

Planning to move back to Brooklyn, where I’d been living the past 16 years, about 10 blocks away from my last place.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Oh, NYC. I came from the Western part of the state, I can promise we'd welcome you there too if you ever need a larger range.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago

What a lovely sentiment. Thank you very much. I’ll think about it.