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inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world

The bear vs man trend is digging up some tiresome and stressful thoughts (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 months ago by Voran@lemmy.world to c/vent@lemmy.world

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Firstly: I'm reasonably sure these women are just kvetching. I often say 'I'd rather drink piss' to express that I don't like something. Obviously I'm not actually going to drink piss.

Secondly...I do agree it's a bit much to compare men to a deadly 1200 pound predator. I would be a bit fed up of hearing that too if I were a guy.

Thirdly...that said...I understand WHY women say that even if it's a bit ridiculous. I've had a male friend completely turn on a dime and send me rape threats while drunk. I pleaded and tried to reason with him for about 20 minutes before I completely snapped and threatened to do things to him with a hunting knife that I won't detail because there's no need to make people vomit. Only then did he back off and switch to making excuses and blaming his autism. It was terrifying because there was no reasoning with him. He LIKED that I was frightened and freaked out. It gave him a pleasurable power rush. The only reason he backed off was the threat of said hunting knife.

A bear isn't malicious. A bear just wants to eat. A bear can be redirected or avoided. You can do things such as wear a bell or carry mace or put up an electric fence around a tent. A man isn't necessarily malicious but IF he is...those precautions won't do jack poopsies because he consciously knows the woman doesn't want it and LIKES the act of stomping on boundaries.

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[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

There's no man that's safe to be around

Your words. Not mine. I literally said the exact opposite SEVERAL TIMES.

bigotry by dismissing other people's lived experiences

Go reread your first comment in this thread. You literally came here to dismiss. I've also told you that your fears are valid, so I don't really see where you get off saying this.

and further convince me that the world would be better off if I killed myself.

Nope, and I am sorry you feel this way. The world is better with you in it. I survived my own suicide attempts a decade and my life is happier than I ever imagined. Please seek therapy, this isn't something the I or the internet can help you with.

I did my best to make this a productive discussion, I really have. I've met your anger with nuance and repeated validation. But I don't see how to proceed anymore. Please stop trying to invalidate womens lived experinces, and take your self esteem and self harm ideation to a professional.

[+] eltimablo@kbin.social -6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

There was no chance of a productive discussion with you because you're fully convinced that your mindset is the only valid one. Why else would you so completely dismiss the views of the people that are being actively harmed by this shit? You didn't want a discussion, you just wanted me to stop causing you cognitive dissonance so you can keep telling yourself you're right.

You're a bigot in an academic's clothes. This whole conversation, your slavish devotion to "the statistics" have made you sound like far-right-wingers do when they talk about Black people. "10% of the population but they commit 35% of the crime so I'm right to be afraid of them."

The world is better with you in it.

That's not the sentiment you've been conveying by lumping me and billions of other innocent men in with the small percentage of us that are subhuman filth.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Why else would you so completely dismiss the views of the people that are being actively harmed by this shit?

Because it does not match observable reality.

Sorry, but I'm blocking you now because this doesn't seem healthy to engage with anymore. I'm sure you will take that as confirmation of me running away from "cognitive dissonance" but I can't in good consciousness be the outlet for your outbursts about ideation.

Please seek better ways of improving your self esteem than finding threads to be angry in. It's a form of self harm.

[–] Voran@lemmy.world -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Im gonna be fair here and point out that I think he has a point: male on female sexual predation at least has some awareness and laws about it. Female on male is a hidden epidemic. Most countries don't legally recognize that men can even be raped.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

And I've countlessly agreed that it is a problem and that any man has the right to feel upset and/or scared about it. Including and especially him. I just don't think that's a good basis for saying women are inherently sexist if they are wary of being alone with a random man. His logic is based that since he feels the need to "work on getting over it" (his words), women should get over it in regards to men. It's a false equivalency.

Without question the legal framework in a lot of countries is out of date and toxic masculinity traits that makes men uncomfortable with seeking help after assaults needs to be addressed. But that's a very different situation from the reason women feel unsafe around men, a NOT AT ALL HIDDEN epidemic.

[–] Voran@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Yea that much I agree with. I'm not going to 'work on overcoming' wariness of someone who is not only bigger and stronger than me but also more durable and faster and more coordinated and has a faster reaction time and even produces more adrenaline than I do.

[–] eltimablo@kbin.social -4 points 6 months ago

Your "observable reality" is based on heavily skewed statistics and anecdotes.