this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
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To extrapolate:

People often say that one should not worry about what others think of them, but life simply doesn't work that way. What other people think of you really does matter; point-in-fact, it can be everything depending on what field you go into.

Like say, for example, you're a business owner and you're recorded arguing with an angry Karen of a customer, the video's posted online, and the internet sides with the Karen. Then, people boycott your business and you're left without a livelihood.

Or perhaps you say something crass and get cancelled. Or simply anger or inconvenience someone with a lot of influence.

Or, even more horrifyingly, say you were assaulted and you came forward, and were ostracized and shunned by your community as a result.

How could one set up their life such that it would be impossible for people like that to rob one of their livelihood? How could one make it impossible for others to shun or ostracize them?

How could a business owner set up their business so that other people couldn't simply shut it down on a whim in such a manner?


EDIT: I'll just "be myself" since that's what the majority of people in the thread want and repeat what I said to another individual:

Honestly, the way everybody is acting is really, really shameful. I am a person who made a thread and gave it a [Serious] tag because I wanted serious, literal answers to a serious problem that, given my chosen career path, will affect me at some point in my life and could potentially ruin it without good info to prepare for such a crisis beforehand. But all I’m getting is denial, mockery, condescension, lies, put-downs.

And it’s rooted in this desire to either pretend the problem is not real because you’re all secretly afraid it’ll affect you yourselves, or it’s because you know it’s real but you view it as a positive because ostracization and shunning people is an emotional cudgel you wield to silence people you don’t agree with on the internet, and answering the question honestly would require framing such actions as a negative and that would make you question the morality of your actions. And that’s not only sick, that’s just cowardly. If you believe cancelling people is morally A-O good, then at least have the temerity to threaten me with a “Don’t speak your mind and mask up” response like at least a few people were honest enough to do.

But don’t insult my intelligence by thinking you can lie to my face and pretend that something I’ve been personally watching happen to other people for over a decade is not, in fact, happening.

Now I came here for a serious answer to a serious problem that affects everyone. If you can't participate in good faith and offer meaningful strategies to avoid or fix such problems and want to either misconstrue it as an emotional issue -- much as you'll do with what I'm saying here after the majority of you demanded I just be myself and not worry about the consequences -- or outright deny it's a real problem when it's been real for over a decade, just don't participate in the thread. Just go elsewhere.


Okay, I just acted like myself. Everyone happy?

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[–] 520@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Don't.

If you're worried about being cancelled, the only thing you have to worry about is not being a cunt to people.

Decent people don't get cancelled just because some Karen had a bad day, at most they'll get some fairly minor Twitter bullshit that dies out fairly quickly, or there will be some unhinged motherfucker in your inbox that no one wants to back (feel free to call the cops on those).

What truly damns the people that get cancelled are their own actions, not some Karen with an overinflated sense of self importance. Their attempts to cancel people usually backfire because they think they have a cult of personality behind them, when what they really have are a bunch of people just getting entertained.

If you say something that gets misconstrued, explain yourself politely, understanding how this mixup could have happened. Those that are reasonable will back off, and those that still keep going just look unreasonable and not someone you'd want to back.

[–] darthfabulous42069@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What happens when those that still keep going make up the vast majority of the population, including your customer base and/or employers?

What happens when people just lie and make shit up about you, and the population refuses to listen to the truth because the lie resonates with their political beliefs?

[–] 520@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What happens when those that still keep going make up the vast majority of the population, including your customer base and/or employers?

They won't. Most people don't have time for that shit.

What happens when people just lie and make shit up about you, and the population refuses to listen to the truth because the lie resonates with their political beliefs?

Then these people were never going to help you anyway. Normal people don't just up and believe anything they are told by some rando. They may however use it as pretext for discriminatory behaviour that was, realistically, going to happen anyway.

[–] darthfabulous42069@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Normal people don’t just up and believe anything they are told by some rando.

Uh... MAGA? Trump? Alex Jones? Hello?

[–] 520@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

These people weren't randos to their audiences. They spent quite a bit of time building their audiences and engendering trust before launching their attacks on democracy and sandy hook victims respectively.

[–] argv_minus_one@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you’re worried about being cancelled, the only thing you have to worry about is not being a cunt to people.

If only it were that easy.

[–] 520@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It...is?

Think about every cancelling attempt that didn't fall flat on its ass. It isn't as simple as some Karen lighting someone up on Twitter or FB.

[–] argv_minus_one@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Think about every innocent black person who was imprisoned and enslaved. They weren't cunts to anyone; all it took to ruin their lives is some rich jerks not liking their skin color.

[–] 520@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

...that's your comparison to getting cancelled? The slave trade?

Methinks you should sit down and actually think about the differences there.

[–] argv_minus_one@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My point is that it's not enough to not be a cunt to people. They can and will hurt you in all manner of ways for all manner of reasons, many of which you can't reasonably anticipate or control.

[–] 520@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Okay, but you're ignoring the scope of OP's question, which is specifically how to avoid getting cancelled or otherwise socially rejected.

It is true that even acting as a good person, there are ways to get someone cancelled. However, not acting like a cunt reduces these methods to false allegations of rape or child abuse, something your average Karen isn't going to be able to pull off without getting charged themselves for malicious false reporting. Whereas acting like a cunt widens the possibilities significantly for a) an opening and b) for it to stick.

[–] argv_minus_one@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Okay, but you’re ignoring the scope of OP’s question, which is specifically how to avoid getting cancelled or otherwise socially rejected.

Does that not qualify as “hurt[ing] you”?

However, not acting like a cunt reduces these methods to false allegations of rape or child abuse, something your average Karen isn’t going to be able to pull off

You kidding? “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” The whole reason false accusations are so scary is because they're easy to make, yet difficult if not impossible to disprove, and in the court of public opinion, the burden of proof is always on the accused.

without getting charged themselves for malicious false reporting.

Only if it's reported to the police. If it's posted on social media instead, the only thing the accuser has to worry about is being sued for defamation, and that's only an issue if the victim is rich enough.