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Things aren’t looking good for me. I’m a few levels into Selaco, a new FPS out now on Steam, and I’m stuck behind a bar as a group of sci-fi soldiers unload their rifles and shotguns into my hiding spot. I’m also low on health. So yeah, a bad spot to be in. I take a deep breath and try something.

As smoothly as I can I slide out from behind the bar, toss an ice grenade toward the enemies, and then dash behind a wall. A moment later a boom happens and my foes are frozen. I spot a nearby propane tank, pick it up, and chuck it at them. A second later I shoot it and watch them blow up. On my screen, a notification lets me know I’ve killed enough of these bastards to unlock a new milestone and earned some new crafting materials to make my assault rifle even better. Sweet!

I then remember that the game I’m playing—that lets me do all this and more was built using a modified version of the ancient Doom engine and giggle. This kind of thing happens a lot in Selaco, a game that rarely feels like it’s built on old bones and dated tech, but instead feels like a polished and modern shooter with some slick retro visuals. What’s most surprising about Selaco isn’t that it’s developed in GZDoom, but that it might be one of the best shooters I’ve played in years.

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[-] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Polish = guarantee ?

Tommy:
Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why do they put a guarantee on a box? Hmm, very interesting.

Ted:
I'm listening.

Tommy:
Here's how I see it. A guy puts a guarantee on the box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.

Ted:
Yeah, makes a man feel good.

Tommy:
'Course it does. Ya think if you leave that box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter.

Ted:
What's your point?

Tommy:
The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, but we're not buying it. Next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.

Ted:
But why do they put a guarantee on the box then?

Tommy:
Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of sh*t. That's all it is. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for right now, for your sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality item from me.

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

What’s this exchange from? I feel like I’ve seen this somewhere, but maybe not?

[-] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 month ago
[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Thank you! I haven’t seen that since the late 90s. Chris Farley was such an incredible man.

this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
535 points (96.8% liked)

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