this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

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I've got a 3 week-old newborn. During the day there are plenty of adorable moments and easy times. But it's the middle of the fucking night, he strategically waited until I was switching diapers to piss on me and all over, then was flailing his arms and pushing the bottle out of his mouth even though he was very hungry, then shit his GODDAMN BRAINS OUT while eating, then after I burped him and cleaned him up and got him in new clothes and swaddled and put him down, he fucking screamed until I picked him up again.

Like, I've given him everything his tiny little brain and body could need. That coupled with the strategic shitting and pissing to require the absolute maximum amount of work from me.

The vent here, I guess, is that I fucking hate this. I loved my life with my wife and now we have next to zero intimacy(not sex, obviously, but even our normal physical touch). We have zero time for each other, one is tending the baby, while the other is desperately trying to keep up with cleaning bottles and keeping the house passably clean and there is no time for anything.

I would never let any of what I just said affect how I interact with the baby, but I'm fucking sick of having literally zero independence and I miss my wife (her being in the same bed and next to me most of the day makes it worse somehow).

Fuck.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Check out The Oatmeal, they've got a comic about having kids that's painfully applicable.

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[–] Croquette@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 months ago

I remember feeling the same thing. It sucks because intellectually, you know it's gonna be fine in the end, but emotionally, you are stuck in that sleep deprived state for all your life.

I got a second one now and taking care of him is easy, sleep deprivation is okay since I know it gets better, but now free time is sorely missing. I wake up at 6:30am and the routine stops at 19:45 - 20:00. At least, I can rationalize it, otherwise I would be depressive.

Hang in there, get the help you can, and at one point, it's better to sleep than clean the kitchen.