this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[โ€“] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 161 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What a horrible day to be literate.

[โ€“] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What a horrible time to be hungry. ๐Ÿคฎ

[โ€“] festnt@sh.itjust.works 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

so, staying in the subject of horribleness, have you ever realised the throwing up emoji looks like someone sucking shrek's cock?

im so soory

[โ€“] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Might be time for you to put the Internet away and go outside for an afternoon. ๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] festnt@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 months ago

yeah please give me the keys to the door, i've been here too long

[โ€“] IDew@lemm.ee 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So recently I stumbled across a post saying that the vomiting emoji (๐Ÿคฎ) looks like it was giving head to Shrek. I had to start furiously jerking off while looking at vomiting emoji on Google images due to my overwhelming ogre fetish. The way the emoji is sucking Shrek's massive cock makes me horny as fuck. I continued beating my meat to this one image for twelve minutes straight until I finally came, then I realized what I had masturbated to.

I literally cannot unsee it so every time I saw the vomiting emoji I was forced to think about Shrek blowjob. One time while I was at work, but then I saw a ๐Ÿคฎ emoji, I instantly started jerking off because of how hot this image really is. People were shocked at first but when I told them it's ogre blowjob they all started masturbating together. Eventually I got fired for causing all this mess.

This could all be prevented if the vomiting emoji didn't look like someone giving head to Shrek. Please make it look less erotic so this doesn't happen again.

[โ€“] Sabata11792@ani.social 3 points 4 months ago

I can't unsee the Shreked emoji.