this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
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[โ€“] fossphi@lemm.ee 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

everything except ... made me feel guilty learning to find joy guilty free breaks

Howโ€ฝ This is perhaps the single most impactful problem I've in my life. I just don't know how to beat this. I don't end up doing anything else because I could be doing my thesis. But I also don't do my thesis. Could you talk a bit more about how you got out of this line of thinking? Between this and ADHD I feel like I'm going suicidal. I haven't had a vacation/gap/break ever where I've felt free and happy to enjoy.

[โ€“] Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Honestly, I still haven't fully solved the problem. I wish I could give you a great answer.

Sometimes I have no struggles working and taking breaks, other times I fall into this same trap you've just described. I think it amounts to a lot of different factors โ€” some weird paradoxical mix of procrastination, fear, insecurity, passion, displeasure, and overconfidence.

I've learned, though, to accept certain tasks as completely necessary in life (like doing the dishes) so that I am able to do them guilt free. At least I can do that. I feel you though. In a general sense, I still struggle with the problem.

I think part of it amounts to making a decision and sticking to it rather than being on the fence. Maybe that's discipline? E.g., "this morning I will go on a run, make a nice breakfast, wash the dishes, get started on laundry, read or play music for a bit, and then finally I will sit down to work." Then, when actually executing the first part of the plan, just ignore the ever living fuck out of any feeling of guilt. But, again, I am still putting that into practice.

Good luck to you and me.

[โ€“] fossphi@lemm.ee 2 points 4 months ago

Thanks for the reply :)

Yeah, I think it does boil down to accepting the situation and just doing it. Or forcing the self to do it after rounds of negotiations and arguments. One problem that I see with this- at least for myself- is that it leads to me doing just the bare minimum and then subsequently getting mad. I don't really know, I'm also trying to figure things out for myself. Maybe medication is the answer