this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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People need to start asking clear consents before doing any sexual stuff.

Like before touching someone who is at the legal age, they should be asked clearly like "do you consent for being touched there" and it should be comfy and gult free, if the answer is no, then it should be accepted respectfully.

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[–] davel@lemmy.ml 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is why I pay a notary to watch.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

What's funny is I get paid by some jackass to be a notary and watch him disappoint women sexually and I'm not even a notary. All I did was have a stamp made and hold a notebook convincing.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

A clipboard is always helpful when cultivating unearned deference and respect.

[–] davel@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago
[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 months ago

This is a pretty common opinion tbh.

That being said, the way you phrased it is horrible, and that's the unpopular part.

The whole asking for content while using the word consent is just a shitty way to go about it. Unless you really want to take what should be an organic and mutual experience and turn it into a robotic mess. In which case, rock on.

Also, it's okay to gain consent before starting at all, by discussing boundaries and establishing a mutual respect for the concept of consent withdrawing. That way, you can all go into things, have some fun and not break the experience, but still honor good consent practice.

Seriously, take some lessons from the kink communities. Establishing consent and boundaries before even starting play is the default concept with responsible play, the whole safe, sane, and consensual motto is there for a reason. But you can still apply a ball gag and run a train on someone when everything is handled beforehand.

Fuck, just establish an always available safe word if you want. A magic word that means everything stops. And then a "slow down" phrase or word to indicate a "stop that particular thing you're doing, but keep going in other ways".

Consent really isn't that difficult if you embrace the concept and communicate

[–] pezmaker@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I didn't think this is an unpopular opinion.

My experience may not be everyone's, but I'm in my mid 40s and I practice this for the most part and consistently run into it with new partners as well.

There are some things that are pretty obvious. But once things are getting going I always ask if it's ok before I take another step further if it isn't abundantly clear and asked for.

I learned dating in the days of "the guy must make all the moves and asking is a mood killer.". I like how things are now. I like that asking is not just accepted but generally becoming the norm. In a way it's kind of like dirty talk, saying the things you'd like to do. Even if the other person isn't ready for what you're suggesting it can still lead down other fun paths that they are ready for and willing to do

Of course this is all YMMV with different cultures and different people. But this has been my experience.

[–] dumples@kbin.social 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I agree. Moreover people need to get better at making consent sexy. Don't say "do you consent for me to kiss you" say " I want to kiss so you bad right now". Normalize it and make it part of the foreplay.

Also I think this is pretty popular opinion