Welcome to c/WouldYouRather, where we present you with the toughest, most ridiculous choices you never knew you had to make! Would you rather have a third arm that's only useful for picking your nose, or be able to talk to animals but only if they're wearing hats? Yeah, it's that kind of vibe. Come for the absurdity, stay because you've clearly got nothing better to do with your life.
Rules:
What you describe is essentially what having a pet chicken is already like. Not even joking; the only difference is that it would be speaking english instead of chicken.
Admittedly, my girl is mostly trained to go on pads instead of anywhere else, and makes sure to hang her butt over the edge of the shoulder, but still.
I don't expect that the bird talking in English would change what they say, which is mostly : give me that food, monkey servant.
What you describe is essentially what having a pet chicken is already like. Not even joking; the only difference is that it would be speaking english instead of chicken.
Right?
Dang skippy lol.
Snakes can vomit. Chickens can't. Snake FTW. He sounds amusing, anyways.
I don't want either of those things! Why the hell would I choose one?
Why the hell would I choose one?
That's how "would you rather" works. There's no rule that the choices have to be good.
I'd like to debate that snake.
Chicken. I've had chickens, they're alright. Talking will be a mixed blessing, because while funny they're also dicks, but I'll take it.
Racist suicidal snake can get fucked.
Snake. Although it's not living long. The instant I happen upon a snake with a phone-shaped lump in the middle, is the beginning of the end I'm afraid.
There's a reason why foul are called that. Chicken droppings are just the worst. I don't care if you have puppy training pads or litter boxes everywhere, your house will never smell nice again.