Not really a answer to your question but I thought it might help.
I tried the next cloud setup since I already self-host a bunch. And I didn't like it. Like you said updates can mess it up and sharing is annoying. Just in general it was buggy for me.
So I switched to proton. Which even though is hosted on someone else computer, it feels plenty private to me with the E2E encryption. I use proton drive which is easy to share things just like google drive. I use proton Calendar. And I use proton Email. Its slow progress but proton really seems to be fully replacing google for me. They even just added live collaboration to drive. Which was like the one thing I still use google drive for sometimes.