902
unzips... (feddit.de)
submitted 9 months ago by EherVielleicht@feddit.de to c/memes@lemmy.ml
25 comments fedilink hide all child comments
all 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee 74 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I was a heroin addict and only jerked off like once a month for years (i.e. whenever I could get my hands on a couple adderall, i’d get my hands on something else). Now i’m clean and exercising and gaining weight and trying to be a human again, and I kinda started jerking off a bit more and I’ve realized just like with eating — the more I eat the more I feel the need to eat— the more I jerk it the more I find myself wanting to jerk it. Now I feel I’ve opened a degenerate can of worms.

I kind of liked not being a slave to my monke brain… except then I was a slave to my junke brain. Someone just teach me how to live.

[-] ArianaGrande@lemmy.world 30 points 9 months ago

I love masturbating. I think everyone should do it once a day.

[-] Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 44 points 9 months ago

Ok Ariane Grande 👍🏼

[-] BastingChemina@slrpnk.net 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

It has been shown than regular masturbation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

So, everyone reading this comment, please masturbate regularly for your own health.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 8 points 9 months ago

I heard it activates your immune system too. Which explains why I've only been sick once in like 4 years.

[-] ______@lemm.ee 20 points 9 months ago

Less serious vices >>>>>> serious vices. You're not hurting anyone. If you really want help I'd suggest professional addiction therapists or something

Imo it's not a problem unless it routinely gets in the way of your goals or lifestyle.

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 12 points 9 months ago

I wish you all the best and hope you're doing better now, and I mean this with respect but it's pretty fucking funny that the answer to "hmm maybe I jerk off too much" is "do horse"

[-] jackpot@lemmy.ml 3 points 9 months ago
[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 9 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXIK1xCRpY

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[-] GrievingWidow420@feddit.it 1 points 9 months ago

If only it were a piped link

[-] Turun@feddit.de 4 points 9 months ago

It is. You can change the text of the link by using [text here](link here)

[-] 2xsaiko@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 9 months ago

Oh god, why does it do that, making the link text be a different valid link is very misleading

[-] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

It takes the displayed text of whatever the link was (in this case a web address, further down is a comment with "of this" as the link text) and uses that as the piped link display text. Misleading, yes, but it's due to an understandable issue. Maybe this should be a suggested change.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!"

[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

I never thought I’d die like this, but is always sort of hoped!

[-] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 13 points 9 months ago

You made me think of this.

Fuck you, OP, I love you, go fuckin' masturbate.

[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 3 points 9 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

of this.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[-] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 13 points 9 months ago

Jokes on you, i'm too depressed to be horny.

[-] lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works 8 points 9 months ago

The secret ingredient... is "love"?

[-] CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

You've named your hand "Love"?

"Allright, Love, time to exercise"

[-] tdawg@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Those are rookie numbers

[-] TheMemorius@postit.quantentoast.de 7 points 9 months ago

Say hello to crippling porn addiction

[-] ComradeChairmanKGB@lemmygrad.ml 0 points 9 months ago

TMI

this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
902 points (97.6% liked)

Memes

44073 readers
2235 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
gary_host_laptop@lemmy.ml
sexy_peach@feddit.de
cyclohexane@lemmy.ml
cypherpunks@lemmy.ml