this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024
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The Onion

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Health Experts Recommend Doing Exact Opposite Of Whatever Simon Cowell Doing To His Body (theonion.com)
submitted 4 months ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So many upvotes and no comments because none of us know what to add to a perfect Onion article. It's short and sweet, too.

[–] HaleHirsute@infosec.pub 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can someone get me a pic of this Simon guy so I can understand the joke. I am prohibited from using search engines by the demon that has taken over my soul.

[–] late_night@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The article has a photo

[–] HaleHirsute@infosec.pub 1 points 4 months ago

Thank you :-)

[–] doofy77@aussie.zone 4 points 4 months ago

The old king of the beavers.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrities/simon-cowell/

After looking at more photos to see if I could find something worse than what was in the article, I noticed that he has the same weird smile in alot of his photos. It’s like he’s purposely just exposing his top teeth when he smiles. I’m assuming it’s a sort of “rehearsed” smile he can pull out whenever he needs to, because celebrities are just expected to be “on” all the time, but it looks weirder the more I look at it. I’m not entirely certain what a “normal” smile is supposed to look like, but that’s not it.