this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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I am deeply sorry for expressing the inner response I had upon reading these holy texts. I long to better myself and only wish that some day I might cross unto the plane of higher understanding only true masters of eloquency like you can achieve, so that I might not flood the sacred halls of understanding and wisdom with my measly attempts at conveying a feeling that overcame me. One can just dream of reaching such a form of enlightened humanity to not dirty this truly intellectual exchange of minds with such a lowly response. My regrets at such blasphemy in the face of these holiest forms of pursuit for true knowledge is unbearable. My only hope is that I have not hindered the epiphanies surely to blossom out of the riddle of the mysterious white box on the wall. Were it not for enlightened minds like yours, the world would surely crumble and collapse into nothingness and we all are deeply thankful for your selfless and brave acts against the evils of this world.

I will now retreat to silence in order to chastise myself, so that I might come out of this shameful exhibition of my intellectual shortcomings as a better person.

(Credit to Lupus@feddit.org)

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