this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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A Boring Dystopia

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Women Who Were 'Tradwives' And Got Divorced Are Sharing How And Why They Left Their Marriages, And It's Both Eye-Opening And Infuriating (www.huffpost.com)
submitted 2 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/aboringdystopia@lemmy.world
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[–] maegul@lemmy.ml 58 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Didn’t finish all of the stories, but it seems pretty much as you’d expect: get trapped with someone that was either always controlling and selfish or develops that mentality by having control over someone and being the sole money maker.

Really makes the case for me that parenting should be made easier and being a workaholic type de-normalised. All of it seems to be a synptomatic of deeper dynamics around filling your life with things that aren’t satisfying or humane: jobs and “trad helicopter parenting”

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 11 points 2 months ago

Yeah it's not really surprising. Like the trad wife movement was obviously a mix of things from wanting to be taken care of from overworked women and power tripping from men that feel a lack of control elsewhere in their life and searching for an easy out almost always comes with some big caveats and room for abuse.

We really need work not to be an all encompassing overwhelming burnout endeavor and we really need community support in child support and raising.
Probably will see something interesting happen though just as a counter movement to trad wives but I don't think it will actually be good persay.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No article, just a bunch of accounts of women in bad relationships told first-person. Nothing unexpected. All the things you know happen in such relationships. Started scrolling to get past the narrations to the article and found that's all there was.

[–] YeetPics@mander.xyz 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Welcome to a return2ozma post!

You're intended to read the headline and get so infuriated that you rage in the comments, not actually read an article.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 months ago

Aha, I see. Thanks for pointing that out. I recall seeing some discussion in the past and recognize the name now that you pointed it out.

[–] geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The second anecdote:

"Our relationship started feeling off, emotionally, physically, it all just started falling apart slowly over a year or so. He worked so much, we lived apart when our second child was born because of work. It was a lot. We did therapy and tried all sorts of things until we decided to divorce.

Turned out, my husband was gay, didn't want to ever face it due to his own reasons (parental shaming as a kid, amongst other things) [and had] created the life he thought he should have and had been having affairs online for years.

The article has nothing to do with tradwives. It's anecdotes from people who married the wrong person.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Nah, the alt-right is full of gay and trans people who are hiding it for whatever reason.

Huge history to right wingers doing this. Trump's mentor Roy Cohn was a gay lawyer who denied he was gay, and even ran something called "The Lavender Scare" (he ran the red scare too truth me told) which was a massive Government interrogation program to weed homosexuals out of government jobs.

So that's Trump's mentor, Roy Cohn. Cohn was also great friends J Edgar Hoover, who was a closet cross dresser... Regan and Nancy had close gay friends they were denying AIDs medicine too ...the right have a whole history with this...

...hell the guy who started the Neo Nazi movement (Michael Kühnen) and led it for decades turned out to be gay.

[–] Shapillon@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It does though.

For example the person you're talkimg about in that second excerpt was a stay-at-home mother of two that homeschooled her children.

The article certainly is a loose collection of experiences with little added value but it is coherent with the title.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The issue wasn't that she was trad the issue was her man was gay.

[–] Shapillon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

imho this is an aggravating factor.

Being in a "trad wife" situation implies reinforced heteromormativity, mononormativity, and sexism which are the core issues here.

Being trad wasn't the linchpin but the background noise that helped everything unfold that way.

And it must have sucked ass to be in the position of the husband that felt so contrived by the societal norms around him that he had to lie and cheat his own self discovery journey.

[–] Doll_Tow_Jet-ski@fedia.io 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

@return2ozma@lemmy.world That was an interesting read

[–] YeetPics@mander.xyz 7 points 2 months ago

✋/s🤚

Here, you must've dropped this.