I feel like this is a Euphemism for many voters and the upcoming election.
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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tfw You're a cat that can jerk off
My friends and I used to do something similar in uni. When we were drunk we used to just say "oh thats a problem for future me" before we did something that would cause a massive problem. After many miserable sunday mornings drunk me decided to be much nicer to future me. We ended up looking at drunk tasks as time skipping. Like if there was a 2hr walk home from the someones house we would be like oh ill do this drunk because its a time skip and ill wake up in my bed not remembering the walk home. Or cleaning the house, if you clean drunk then future you will wake up to a clean house. I'd wake up to a clean house, no hangover because i rememered to drink water, a powerrade next to my bed and id be like thanks drunk me.
Once met a dude at college named Scummy Steve. Before meeting him I heard how he was getting kicked out of bars for "spiking" drinks. At the time I thought nothing of it. Figured dude was either sneaking into bars with bottle of liquor and ordering pepsi's then spiking them with booze... that or he was spiking them with drugs. Had done tons of drugs by that time, but never once found myself in presence of roofies. However that doesnt mean there was any sort of drug shortage, cez everywhere you turned you found tons of molly and tons of E . So I assumed that's what people saw him spiking drinks with. I mean shit, back then we used to get home from parties and ninja dose eachother by hiding mushrooms in drunken 4am meals we made for everyone still standing. My go to was 2 grams of shrooms smashed between triple decker PB&J sammies. Noone ever expected it till they saw trails tryjng to piss the next morning. Early disclaimer: no part of this story is about the creepy roofie kinda spiking, FYI. Either way I digress.
Finally ran into Scummy Steve out at one of the bars we were both underage drinking at. He was also famous for getting a dwi going to the copshop to pick someone else up from getting a dwi. So on meeting him I'm like, dude, I have so many questions. First, what have you been spiking drinks with that has everyone talking about it. He's all, for you to learn that secret you have.to let me enjoy the bar a bit but I'll show you when I'm ready. Fuckin space cadet answer but I was like wrrrrrdski. Hour or two many shots later, I hear someone screaming my name from the middle of the dance floor. I look, make eye contact with Scumy Steve, as he sees me look, bouncers are rushing at him like they know whats about to happen. Before they got there, Scummy Steve serves up a full pint glass of vodka redbull like an Olympic volleyball serve, jumps up in the air and fucking spikes the glass accross the bar and smashing it into the back wall of the bar sending glass, ice and booze* errywhere. *assume it was booze and only ever saw the dude drinking bartons vodka and redbull. Even back then 2 cans of red bull cost more than a pint of cartons.
No relevance to the story, just shating college stories.
haha Scummy Steve sounds like such a town menace.
Yeah, I don't see a lot of bright points in Scummy Steve's future.
"You can keep your bed sheets clean by getting drunk and falling asleep in your clothes."
P. J. O’Rourke wrote that in the 1980s. He has a whole book about bachelor housekeeping.
"Realize fuck it, I can just ______, future me will have to clean it up" is technically true of literally anything that's physically possible. Excellent way to justify doing something.
Not if that thing is shooting yourself in the head.
I know it's a joke and we are in the greentext community but still:
If you, the reader, or anyone you know might be suicidal, here is a place to start making life easier again, no pressure, only love.
May it be helpful to someone.
In that case not even future you had to clean it up.
That depends on your belief in the afterlife/reincarnation.
win-win!
Leaving the game does not change the rules of the game.
Depends on if you live and have to clean up that mess.
Greentexts are fake, but this is funny!