this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon has a best friend (lemmys.hivemind.at)
submitted 1 year ago by potvanherb@lemmys.hivemind.at to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Right because there's no way they could be father and son, two brothers, other relations, best friends, or any other kind of platonic relationship that people have all the time in real life. But apparently that the researchers have never heard of. Maybe the researchers are clones.

Notice that there's no source for that headline. But of course that wouldn't matter; nobody ever has a bias or exaggerates headlines in order to make them stand out and attract attention. That would be irresponsible and unethical. /S

[–] CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Everyone assumed they were heterosexual lovers, why should it be assumed that it was platonic after it's discovered they were both male?

It's always the same pattern:

  • Assumption is made
  • New data makes the assumption queer
  • Initial assumption is questioned

Yeah sure, maybe it was some girl and boy who didn't even know each other, but I somehow doubt that a comment questioning a straight relationship would even have a single upvote

[–] Steeve@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Statistics? <10% of the population identifies as LGBTQ+ today, if your only evidence is two dudes hugging then not gay lovers is much more likely to be correct.

[–] CommanderCloon@lemmy.ml -2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You mean that after thousands of years of repression, with still today strong religious antagonism, and annihilation of culturally significant LGBTQ elements in colonized countries, the LGBTQ community is low? Yeah, no shit.

None of those factors were present back when the Vesivius errupted in 79BC though, so our contemporary low % is perfectly irrelevant

[–] Steeve@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 year ago

Yeah, there's absolutely no reason to think that over 50% of the population was attracted to the same sex at any point in history, your comment is pure speculation based on hand wavy nonsense. The only data we can actually point to is current day statistics, which, even in demographics where LGBTQ is normalized, is way under 50%.

Do you really think natural human attraction can be "annihilated" by religion and colonization? That's ridiculous and frankly offensive to LGBTQ folks who were born that way.

[–] Steeve@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

How could they be father and son, the bones are approximately the same age!

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 4 points 1 year ago

They were roommates, obviously.

[–] FederatedSaint@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The gay agenda strikes again!

/s

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Alternatively, meet the love of your life and die tragically in each other's arms and then have a bunch of people 2000 years later argue that you were best buds or brothers lol

Think it's safe to say "we cannot say for sure one way or the other".

[–] BluesF@feddit.uk 10 points 1 year ago

You're a vampire, you realise that your eternal existence is about to come to an end, finally. The ash and fire will today grant you your well deserved rest. You wish only to die sated of your endless thirst - you dash into the nearest house. A man huddles in a room. He's afraid, for once it is not of you. In an instant, it is done, and his lifeblood fills your mouth in one last ecstatic moment as the ash pours through the windows and the stinging heat begins to claim your skin.

But it is not enough. The curse of immortality is strong, and the ash, while choking, is not hot enough to truly burn your body. You live on, changed, hardened into a block of stone, buried. And you wait. A year turns to a decade, a century. You pray to lose your mind, but the curse is stronger even than madness. Your torment seems endless as the centuries turn then to millennia.

And then... The ash above you is cleared. Hope, at last! Surely the people of this new age will see your final crime, bad understand! Surely, they will know your cursed form needs to be destroyed once and for all!

You can barely make them out, as they prowl around your stony shell.

"Hey man, you think they were gay or just bros?"

Your torment continues.

[–] ChickenAndRice@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They were just roommates

[–] Jelly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago

Oh my god they were roomates

[–] comrade19@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Haha a great way to show how shit the article would be

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In this case I am with Anon. Stop gayifying men caring for each other. I love Yaoi as much as the next person, but you shouldn't try to push the uwu everywhere!

[–] Mandy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Anon must be a historian too it seems

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

(What happens when trying to feign prejudice for acceptance)

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

"Could". Whee.

[–] mo_lave@reddthat.com 2 points 1 year ago

One of them got Yamcha'd wth