No Stupid Questions

I don't speak German, but I picked up a few phrases for work. They have a few idioms that I think of sometimes:

"Ich glaub, ich spinne" which means I think I'm crazy, but literally translates to "I think, I spider." It's a great visual metaphor, being overwhelmed by the threads going everywhere that you imagine you're a spider spinning a web, and also you've entirely forgotten grammar.

"Bahnhof verstehen" or "Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof" means "I understand only the train station." It's something you say when you don't understand anything, you're completely lost, and you don't give a shit becaue you just want to get the fuck home.

I might be off on those translations or the subtext, but that's how I understood it.

"Das geht mir am Arsch vorbei."

German for I don't give a damn about that.

Literally: it passes by my ass.

You can also lift it up to a SFW level by saying "Das geht mir hinten vorbei." (It passes behind me), or strengthen it with "Das geht mir weit hinten vorbei." (It passes far behind me).

On ne peut pas avoir le beurre et l'argent du beurre (We can't have the butter and the butter's money)

This one would be the French equivalent of "You can't eat cake and have it"

Tomber dans les pommes (Falling in apples)

This is an expression to describe fainting

Tailler une pipe (Carving a pipe)

Give a blowjob

此地无银三百两—literally "this location does not hide 15kg of silver". imagine a sign saying that with an arrow pointing downwards

Esperanto

krokodili- verb, literally something like "to crocodile"

It means when an Esperanto-speaker speaks in a language other than Esperanto while amongst other Esperanto-speakers.

No one's quite sure why that's the term for it, most likely because crocodiles have a big mouth.

When I learned that, it suddenly made a lot of sense why Duolingo taught me the word for "crocodile" so early.

An example as if I was talking to you: "I'll wack you like an octopus" which technically already describes the action, however traditionally in my country after catching octopus in order to properly kill them and soften them up, fishermen basically smack/wacked them on the ground maniacally.

And I think it's become such a popular figure of speech because that mental image is hilarious and I love using it.

"Correo de las brujas" translates to "the witches' mail" and means gossip or rumors. Kind of like "heard it through the grapevine" or a "a little birdie told me"

"Butt fuck Egypt (BFE)," when referring to being in the middle of nowhere or the far edges of a parking area. For example, Sally complained to her friend in the food court, "I had to park all the way in BFE. I'm dreading the walk back to the car."

You're mustard

English. It's a good thing, means the person is awesome.

前世害左你么？(In Cantonese/Taishanese)

Did I hurt you in your previous incarnation?

Parents always say this when they get mad.

I guess it translate to "What did I do in my previous life to deserve a shitty kid like you?"

So a round-about way of just saying trash-talking their kid basically.

I always respons, "So why did you hurt me in my my previous life?"

Or "Yea you hur me in my previous life and I reincarnated here for revenge" 🤣

(Who the fucked coined that phrase, why is reincarnation brought up wtf lol)

Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”

Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”

Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”

When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”

When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”

~~Kill two birds with one stone.~~ Get two birds stoned at once. 😎

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Oddly meaning, you act like your dumbass parent.

Burying the cunt of a mouse