I mean, the monster seems pretty chill and isn't hurting anyone.
this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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"We are here to rule your species with little to no accountability! We will make you work for us and take a percentage of your money for our use and you will have no say! Sleep, work, and barely eat is all you will have time for under our rule!"
"Yeah we got those on this planet already. We call them politicians."
"Well ... then we are going to strip your planet of all of its minerals and water and take all living organisms for granted and steal your plants and other resources we want!"
"Buddy, you're not gonna fucking believe this ..."
Alien: Greetings, human. I am Zorkon of the Galaxotron Empire. We have come to conquer your planet and enslave humanity. Bow before our superior might!
Human: [laughs] Oh, Zorkon, you crack me up! Conquer us? Enslave us? Ha! That’s a good one.
Alien: I don’t understand. Why are you laughing? This is a serious invasion!
Human: Oh, I get it. But really, your timing couldn’t be worse. We’re already dealing with wildfires, melting ice caps, never-ending politics, and—have you seen our to-do lists? They’re terrifying!
Alien: But we have advanced technology! We will strip your planet of its natural resources!
Human: Strip our planet of natural resources? Newsflash, we’ve been doing that ourselves. Timber, oil, coal—you name it!
Alien: We will poison your water and pollute your air!
Human: Poison our water? Pollute our air? Ever heard of industrial waste and smog? We've got that covered, thanks.
Alien: We will make you work until you are old and frail!
Human: Make us work till we’re old? We call that ‘retirement age’ around here. By then, we're barely standing anyway.
Alien: Our rule will be harsh! You will live in fear and despair!
Human: Fear and despair? Welcome to the 21st century, Zorkon. We’ve been binge-watching those since 2016. Honestly, if you’re here to conquer, you might want to bring a sense of humor. You’re gonna need it!
Alien: [confused] Perhaps we should have researched this planet a bit more...
Clearly this guy has successfully walked past the ~~monster~~ ~~creature~~ friend 20 days in a row without issue. Give it a few weeks and I bet they'll be grillin together
Monster needs a shitty orange toupee.
Maybe that's a bit too in the nose.
actually ☝️🤓 the toupee is blond. the skin is orange
I guess you're right it is. I might confuse it for Conan if it was orange.
Can't help yourself, can you?
And thus the Overton window was shifted.
No, I refuse.
Hear hear
Jokes like these leave me with a sour taste because this is what you‘d do if you wanted to manipulate people onto complacency. Good to read that folks dont like the idea.
This is what they want.
I mean, people live in authoritarian countries and it feels very normal. I grew up in PRC (for the first decade of my life, at least), and I didn't feel like there was any danger. Sure, school is so weird with national anthems, they do those ceremonies where they put the "red scarf" for like 1st graders (see: Young Pioneers of China) but like, it just feels normal. I didn't even care about the "Patriotism" thing, I jusr hate school yard gatherings (same with the auditorium gathering in the US).
I mean, when I came to the US. I notice they do the pledge thing and like, it just felt normal.
I thought: Every countries does this? Right? I've been to two countries already, and Patriotism (aka nationlism, but I was taught its "Patriotism") is just a normal thing, right?
But then I go on Reddit and Europeans say they don't have obsessive nationalism.
Like... most people have lives in monarchies throught history, across the world. You can't talk shit about the monarch, or they chop your head off. It's been the norm for most of civilization. People through history just accepted the monarchy as the norm. People before the french revolution would never though that most monarchies would fall, they just accepted monarchism.
In Australia, every green and gold blooded Australian is expected to attend their local Bunnings on a Sunday and salute the brave men and women running the sausage sizzle gazebo to thank them for their service to the nation. It's just normal, patriotic stuff that every country does.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I can imagine a queue of boy scouts and girl scouts for sausage sizzle saluting one by one as they get their goodies.
Huh, so you are saying, that the US pledge of allegience is normal? 🤨
Nope. what's in there for me, any bacon flavored bullets?
Had a similar reaction to a giant Alaskan Malamute that used to sit in the forecourt of a house on my daily walk.