this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.

My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people

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[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 11 points 6 days ago

Is thisnJoe Rogan

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

What's gorilla gonna do? Bite him?

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 15 points 6 days ago

Anon was a fighter.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 10 points 6 days ago

Gorilla proceeds to pull his arms and legs off his body, and slap him a bit with his own arms before returning to breakfast.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)

If I had a gun in each hand, a bandolier full of knives, and a satchel full of grenades, I might be able to take down a gorilla. But likely not before he kills me first.

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[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago

Anon is dead

[–] scathliath@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 6 days ago

Google how much force do I have to give to the dome of a gorilla in punching to give him a debilitating concussion?

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 6 points 5 days ago
[–] selkiesidhe@lemm.ee 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Just turned to my husband to ask are there really men out there who think they can really fight a goddamn gorilla??? Is it a joke? Have they SEEN a gorilla??? A chimp gonna kick your ass and they're smaller than an adult man wtf!

Id personally be more scared of the chimp. The gorilla is mostly a peaceful animal.

[–] Asswardbackaddict@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I wanna be a gorilla field researcher. They're cool. I saw a video where a wildlife photographer was following a gorilla too close, and you're like, "that animal is fuck this guy up", right? Nah. The gorilla punches him in the face and keeps walking.

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[–] Zacryon@feddit.org 4 points 5 days ago

It's good to set realistic goals to motivate your workout.

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