this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2023
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Asklemmy

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I have asked this question to countless people (mostly in hair salons) as an alternative to small talk, and it always yields interesting results.

Rules:

  • You get the money right now, right where you are. If it's 10pm and you're in the middle of nowhere, your money will still go poof at 11pm.
  • As a result of the above, tell us what time it is and roughly where you are (big city, desert, small town, ...)
  • You must spend the money. You cannot give it to someone to hold on to it for you for a while.
  • Normal world rules apply, e.g. you cannot buy a $250k car at a dealership in 1h in cash, and you cannot buy a house in 1h either.
  • Remember that getting from where you are to the place you need to go takes time. Factor that in!

Edit: I'm glad you guys had fun with this one. Feel free to post similar hypothetical questions. I kinda like these.

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[–] fiah@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] grandel@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

I'd buy ETF

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[–] 3rdBlueWizard@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Too many answers trying to game the system. Have fun with it!

If this was earlier in the day, I would drive to a pinball arcade that is maybe 40 minutes away, and offer them the entire million for every pinball machine they had. Hopefully the owner could be contacted and close the deal within the remaining 20 minutes.

I wish there would be time to buy a boat. I know nothing about sailing or maintaining a boat, but I would love to just drive to a marina and just get a 50 foot sailing boat.

[–] 3rdBlueWizard@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

BTW, of they ask why I'm in such a hurry, I'll say I have a Brewster's Millions situation and hope they'd seen the movie. We could relax after the deal was done.

[–] fishy_2_0@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

almost 3 am in my room nothing is open so i guess uh air if its sent to my bank account id start ordering everything i could online

[–] fisco@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Its gone 3:30am, I've just got home after a night out, I've had too much to drink, so driving is out of the question, besides there nothing open at this hour.....I know, I'll just sleep on it....for an hour anyway πŸ˜…

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[–] Silviecat44@vlemmy.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would try to drive into town (20 mins), then buy as many gift cards as I could, although that would look suspicious

[–] Catsrules@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Just tell the store the IRS is on the phone with you and they need gift cards as payment.

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just tried ntfy, it works ! How do I self host the server if you don't mind?

There are install steps here: https://docs.ntfy.sh/install/ and config options here: https://docs.ntfy.sh/config/

Feel free to drop by the Discord, Matrix, or our Lemmy instance.

If you (or a banker or anyone you're paying) needed to count that money, you'd need to count just over 11 bills every 4 seconds, just to count all the bills within an hour, let alone have time to actually spend the money. This is assuming $100 bills, of which you'd need 10,000 of. This many bills also weighs 22 pounds or 10 kilograms, plus whatever the weight of the container you're carrying it is... IDK man I think I'd not even try to spend most of it, grab maybe $500-1000 in cash, and go on a quick shopping spree at Target or something, which is like a 10 minute walk from where I live. I could buy groceries, clothing, electronics, household items, etc. If I still had time I would go back and try to buy gift cards in large denominations, but I know cashiers are supposed to give people a hard time with that because of scammers, so I wouldn't want to deal with that during the initial transaction.

[–] fiasco@possumpat.io 5 points 1 year ago

It is possible to buy a car in less than an hour, though I agree that you can't buy real estate that quickly. New Yorkers might be able to pull off stocks, if the money comes to them while the NYSE is open, but I'm not in New York (or Chicago, for the Mercantile Exchange, or...)

It's kind of a bizarre question, though. I have several small business owner friends. Could I get them to mark up a croissant to $1M, with the understanding they'll cut me in on the revenue?

If not, then what really are the terms of the question? Arms length transactions only? How will that be adjudicated?

[–] ShlorpianMafia@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's 7:30pm in a city with several 24-hour stores. I'd go on a shopping spree and spend 90% on things for myself and family, then visit as many restaurants + bars as possible while tipping thousands of dollars until the million is all gone.

[–] ilikemoney@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Cthulhu1@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With cash? How does that work?

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[–] rooster_butt@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

High roller casino chips. May be hard to cash them out eventually but should be doable.

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Alberta Canada. 2 pm.

I'd buy a house. Normally that's takes a lot of time but as long as I hand off the money to the realtor I should be good. I don't actually want a million dollar house, and definitely don't want to pay the property taxes on it. But I can resell it later and keep the money this time.

[–] worfamerryman@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

I think I could legit buy my condo in an hour with that kind of money. But only if the agent is in this part of the city and not in her other home outside the city.

My wife could write up a basic contract that could work as she went to law school and used to do some work for a law firm.

But if that still does not count, then I’d probably order a bunch of computer stuff. Like a new laptop, all the parts for the latest pc stuff, a steam deck. Maybe a bunch of hard drives and some server level stuff.

I guess I’d have tons of money still leftover so I’d buy my wife some stuff that she would like.

I’d totally buy a steam deck. I want one so badly.

I can’t really think of things that I’d like to buy. That are not a car or house.

[–] FleaCatcher@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

If I had 1 million in hand-

I am willing to bet the dealership could get me in and out pretty quickly!

Likewise, I have a friend selling a house. I am quite certain we can make a bill of sale in an hour.

But- since those options are off-limits. Honestly- there really aren't many options.

Since, its cash-in-hand, that likely means online transactions are against the rules.

SO- the best course of action would be to visit a store with a lot of expensive goodies. In my case, walmart is the best local option. Suppose I could buy out all of the TVs, game systems, etc. At least those would have the best resale value.

[–] monkeysuncle@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What does it mean for the money to disappear? Can I just not spend anymore or would it disappear from whoever I bought from. If the latter, I couldn't in good conscience buy anything. I wouldn't mind if say Walmart lost some profit, but thousands of dollars worth of cash suddenly going missing would cause people to lose their jobs.

If the former, I'd buy as much electronics as I could from Walmart and then buy a bunch of scratch offs and lottery tickets. Those are the only two placed open around here at 11pm.

It's magical money. If you spend the money according to the rules, it will not disappear from the person you bought things from. But if you fake-spend it, like "buying" something from your friend, then it'll go poof.

[–] netburnr@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'd go to all the pawn shops and clean them out. Lots of gold and silver I could resell.

[–] Arcaneslime@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Gold, house, stonks.

[–] PotjiePig@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I'd by gold. Or a bunch of second hand Land Rovers on Gumtree.

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