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The original was posted on /r/AskMen by /u/Efficient_Constant13 on 2023-10-05 08:32:37.
I have been called “sweet” and “bubbly” by people around me, in different countries and cities, even at different workplaces.
I don’t swear, not in every day life, not at my partner. I don’t scream either or have big outbursts of crying when I am upset during an argument. I am short, have a round soft face and deep dimples as well so slight movements make me look smiley/friendly. I don’t like ultimatums or the silent treatment. And I forgive my partner easily. I am also quite derpy, I like silly jokes and get excited and happy at the smallest things (saw a wild ferret in Berlin once when walking with my boyfriend, I squealed and did a tippy tap due to excitement).
Because of all that and how I am as a person, people don’t take me seriously when I am truly angry. It rarely happens, think twice a year at most. When it happens, people take it lightly until I reach a point where I cut them out. My current boyfriend and my two exes don’t take me seriously until I break up and they feel blindsided.
I communicate, clearly and simply. How I feel, why I feel that way, how I perceive what happened and how I would like us as a couple to find a solution. I don’t say “you this, you that, you blah blah”. And I also want to hear their side and I don’t mind sincerely apologising when I am wrong. Yet, nothing ever happens and I build resentment.
I don’t want to have to scream/threaten/give ultimatums, I truly don’t like that. What can I do? My current boyfriend (33M) doesn’t get that I (31F) am reaching a point where if I keep building resentment, this relationship will end.