229
submitted 7 months ago by PugJesus@lemmy.world to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

by Centurii-Chan

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[-] ooterness@lemmy.world 71 points 7 months ago

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

[-] pufferfischerpulver@feddit.de 17 points 7 months ago

The four ruffians? The king of England, the king of England, the king of England, and the king of England. Fucking showed the bastards.

[-] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

No, no, no, you got it all wrong. It’s the King of England, the future King of England, the futures future King of England, and the futures futures future King of England.

[-] Land_Strider@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

For the record, I blame Miller.

[-] hikikoma@ani.social 43 points 7 months ago

Grapeshot for home defense of course.

[-] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 6 points 7 months ago

Nothing beats cannister for your truly murderous discharge.

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 7 months ago

To be fair the smoke from black powder would obscure the last frame.

The golden age of shootouts and wild west banditry was after they invented smokeless powder, so they could shoot you without billows of smoke revealing their location.

[-] hydrospanner@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago

Now is all that smoke obscuring or revealing?!

Make up your damn mind!

[-] Madison420@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

I mean y'all joke but lots of the founding fathers did fortify their homes.

this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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