I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Lemmy is a fantastic Reddit clone, and federation is great for persistence, but it completely lacks nuance in how content is delivered. Defederation is only going to further fragment the platform. No one is going to be totally happy with it until the onus is primarily on the individual, rather than the community or instance.
As a user, I want choice. Give me settings. Give me more control. Then if I see something I don't like, or something I'd rather change, that's on me. That sounds much better than hoping and waiting for a level-headed admin to figure it out for me, or making yet another account when they get it wrong.
We'll never get anywhere if all the admins are afraid of getting on everyone else's "bad side" for content they can barely control themselves.