I would echo the recommendation for counseling. However, is this a larger issue or unique to children? Do you find yourself getting disproportionately angry at other sources of annoyances? Answering that question might help you know whether there is a larger need to address.
this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
349 points (93.1% liked)
No Stupid Questions
35884 readers
1635 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
How loud is loud? Is it only loud children or children of any volume? How do you feel about loud adults?
I struggle with a lot of sounds, having a sensory processing disorder, the list of which is far too long to write out here. So I totally understand the frustration and how rage inducing it is, you are definitely not alone. Especially when people don't understand it's not a patience issue, it's a 'my brain isn't wired the same way as yours and it genuinely cannot be fixed' issue.
Other people have mentioned therapy, which is definitely a good idea. They can help you find ways to channel the energy into something else, or help you find the root cause (if it's a children-specific thing, and not just a general sensory issue), or teach you good cognitive behavioral therapy practices.
In the interim, since finding a good therapist for you can take a lot of time, I would definitely recommend some form of earplugs. Mine have saved me and my sanity so so so many times. If I can recommend a particular pair, I would suggest the Loop Switch, since they let you adjust the sound reduction levels on the fly - but any brand / even the foam tip ones (as long as they fit you properly!) can help immeasurably. For me, just knowing I have earplugs with me helps dealing with these sounds, even if I don't wind up using them, just knowing the option is there. Some form of stress ball or those grip / forearm strengtheners might also be of use for you? It can be a good distraction, as well as allowing yourself to let off some of the steam in a relatively healthy and inconspicuous manner.
And kudos for knowing this is a problem for you, and looking for help on how to improve it. I hope you're able to make progress you want, one way or another. Good luck, OP - we're rooting for you
IMO They're just small humans and like their larger counterparts some are worth my time and some aren’t. You sound ageist. My partner hates kids, much like you, but has slowly become fond of a select few we know. I’ve never really minded kids - but I’ve always been able to hand them back as I don’t have any of my own.
So long as you are not seeking harm to the child or the parents, or imposing your will on them, you're good. You don't have to like kids at all. You're free to despise them, rationally or irrationally.
If I don't want a kid in my presence, I'm not forced to tolerate that kid's bullshit. I'm free to leave. And, I avail myself of that freedom from time to time, whether that is skipping an aisle in a grocery store, walking out of a restaurant, leaving a party, or even a funeral. I owe nobody an explanation; they can think I'm odd, or an introvert, or an ingrate. I don't need to live up to their expectations.
Knowing that it is my choice relieves a lot of my spite and anger. Knowing that I am perfectly free to get up and leave at any time and for any reason means every second I stay is my own decision, and totally within my control.
embrace it
I was a little like that until I had a kid myself. Much less than you perhaps, but I didn't have fun with kids, I never knew what to do, what to tell them, and I would be very unforgiving with kids who are cheating or lying for fun.
I always thought that when you have one, yours is different.
When i meet my soulmate, I knew she would be an awesome mother and it helped me retain some faith. We ended up having a boy who is now 4 and a half.
I must admit, I didn't know I had this much patience in me. Still not knowing what the hell I'm doing but I lowered the bar as much as I could : he's happy, and he's fed.
Now it's not always easy, and he tests my limits daily by pushing all the proper buttons. Sometimes I ask my girlfriend for an.... Emergency relief.
But now I kinda understand how to enter children's world. Doesn't work with all of them, and sometimes I must adapt. I still have a hard time tolerating crying over nothing serious, but I found ways to go around that and give hugs.
I try to remind myself of old memories when I did some very similar things with I was a kid, sometimes I'm not very proud...
All in all, I'm not telling to have kids, but just to say it can change. I just happened to have taken the "hard way", and I didn't regret any of it.
By undergoing behavioral therapy.
Welcome to Lemmy. Welcome to autism.
You seems to react to high pitched voice/sound of children. Hate the noise not the origin
That's the fun part, you don't!