YES... the way people talk to each other on Reddit is disheartening. I found that if I didn't phrase things EXACTLY in the same tone/manner that was the general "reddit tone/manner" it was an argument and downvotes. If I had any opinion that was ever so slightly different from the popular opinion it wasn an argument and downvotes. It became impossible to have authentic conversations in many of the subs
For me, Reddit/Twitter/Facebook/Instagram communities provided more incentives to have ASPD than to work on mitigating the symptoms and having productive, meaningful conversations.
Sure, I lose hostility as a defense mechanism against social anxiety but I can actually feel myself becoming happier since leaving.
Sometime in the past few years I feel like reddit devolved into an argument fest. It seems like the only thing anyone is interested in is arguing or saying rude or hateful shit in the comments. It turned me off to commenting tbh and even pre-api nonsense made me realize I didn't enjoy reddit the way I used to.
It's nice here still, and hopefully stays that way. Sometimes I'll write something that I realize could be taken as rude and I'll feel like an absolute asshole until I fix it. Like I'm worried I'll upset someone when I didn't mean to... I haven't given something like that a second thought on Reddit in years.
Also if anyone reads a comment from me and I sound like an asshole, please let me know! It's almost certainly not intended, especially anywhere on Beehaw.
Too many morons use the downvote button as a “Dislike/Disagree” button. It’s why I like that downvotes are disabled here. If you disagree with someone, you’re encouraged to actually have a discussion instead of lazily pressing the downvote arrow and leaving.
First off, OP, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Hostile responses hurt, particularly when you're just trying to help. I hope this doesn't stop you from sharing ideas in the future. We need more people willing to share ideas so we can have good thought diversity.
That being said, I don't think this is a good reason to leave Reddit or hate Reddit.
I know a lot of us are really highly charged right now and the Reddit hate is strong. We got burned by something that was a major part of our lives for many years. But the toxicity of the participants is not exactly a Reddit thing. This is an internet thing. You are not getting away from that here.
I have had similar experiences as OP on Reddit and I'm also seeing similar behaviors on Lemmy as well, particularly now that it is growing faster.
Lemmy and federated services in general do not automatically mean that the community is nicer or are more respectful. That is not the problem these services try to solve. They solve issues of ownership and centralization. Even communities like Beehaw aren't free from this either. I've seen some pretty toxic behavior, even on Beehaw. They can't escape that. But what they can do is set a standard for expected behaviors and then moderate the community as best they can. This doesn't eliminate the problem, but at least it sets a stage where we can play, and call out when someone crosses the line.
So let's not kid ourselves. When people from different backgrounds, views, and intents come together with the capability of being anonymous and behind a screen, the bad actors WILL come and join the fray. That's just part of internet connected life.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. I try not to let these type of interactions get to me because I know I should not let stranger’s opinion be able to affect me that much. I should be the gatekeeper of my emotions and what I let affect me. I just was already not having a great day yesterday, and being treated poorly for literally no reason, and realizing I wasted my time sharing my ideas just put me a bit over the edge.
And you’re right, these kinds of interactions are just something that happens as being a part of the internet and even just as part of humanity in the real world too. Bad actors are bad actors.
First off, I'm so sorry to hear you were having a bad day. That really sucks and I feel for you, friend. It happens to us all and I hope things look up for you soon! They usually do and stuff like this comes and goes in waves.
I should not let stranger’s opinion be able to affect me that much. I should be the gatekeeper of my emotions and what I let affect me.
You can't always help this. We are emotional creatures. Feeling emotions is just something we do, and you don't have to check that baggage at the door. You are entitled and valid for having a feeling in response to that situation. In my opinion you're not wrong about feeling bad/upset either. You should be upset for getting dumped on like that. We just have to be mindful to let it guide our decisions sensibly. Don't feel bad for feeling bad. You are justified in this situation.
...realizing I wasted my time sharing my ideas...
Please, please, please don't see your contribution as a waste, despite the response you got. The way others respond is not always a great indicator of the quality of your contribution, particularly if you don't exactly trust those individuals deeply. That's kind of the problem with online communities like this, not everyone responds affirmatively even if they think it actually is a great idea. It's hard to really know. It's absolutely validating when someone outright says it, but on the same hand the negativity, especially if it's not constructive, should be taken with a grain of salt. For all you know, someone could have seen your idea and run with it already, or come up with something else good based on it. You may never know though, and that's okay. The intent of putting an idea out there is good, and thank you for doing that. Please don't stop doing that.
I always have had this experience. I posted a silly mess up I had with my 3D printer once and all the comments were focused on the fact that I had a printer that wasn’t part of the circlejerk of “best printers according to the subreddit”.
I got called a dumbass and there was a comment chain where 2 people pondered about just how stupid I would have to be to buy the printer I have now.
Not a single comment referring to my actual post, just all jumping down my throat because I dare not buy the Ender 3.
Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
Subcommunities on Beehaw:
This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.