Asklemmy

I have a classic NZ voice as well as a tan and get asked this often because I'm in the most Caucasian place outside of Europe (I'll let you guess). Half the time they don't even assume where I'm from because they don't have enough education about the world to hold any stereotypes about me (which makes them draw a blank about countries), which ironically gives me the freedom to respond however I want.

"Why do you ask?"

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"Why do you feel entitled to an answer?"

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They'll figure it out.

Random people care because they were taught to care. Scared people see anyone who looks different as a threat. It starts there.

I don't make a big deal about it.It's just a small talk question like any other. I just answer that i'm half canadian, half tunisian. I was born in Canada but at 2 years old i lived in tunisia till 18 and went back to Canada

If you're now in Australia, it is polite to ask "where y'from" as a starter convo, as knowing who your mob are is part of getting to know you. An Aussie would find the answer [insert country name here] as pretty standoffish (sort of an "I don't want to talk about it or be friends with you" answer) but if they were determined to get to know you they might then ask patiently "where in Canada?" or ask about the part of Canada you might originate from, knowing it is a large place. This helps them to understand who you are and work better alongside you in big projects in future. Unfriendly people aren't really worth working with or helping out if the going gets tough.

Think of it this way: If you have spoken four words to someone "Canada" and "why do you ask?" they are less motivated to cover your shift. If they know you are from that cool place with several excellent bands and a beautiful landscape and you often chat about whales or whatever, they might try to help you out. Also, how cold and bleak your life would be without the occasional conversation with someone at least once a day. Many people live alone.

How do you first get to know your work colleagues? Ask about a sport or the weather? Or ask about something else? Is small talk and office acquaintances not a thing where you are from?

I notice this a lot in Canada and the US. I think it's a weird internalization of the fact that these countries are made up of colonizers and people the colonizers brought in to do their dirty work for them.

Let me preface this by saying I'm white, and I lived in pretty much the same place until I was about 20. Most of my friends and acquaintances were also white and also born and raised in the area. My take on this is based on that lived experience. I am very aware that this question can take on very dark racist tones depending on the context.

"Where are you from" in a lot of cases doesn't mean "you look different or you talk different," it means "where did your ancestors come from"? When people ask, or volunteer this information, they're talking about that family history. This is how you get people from Alberta with four generations of family history in Alberta claiming that they're "a quarter German, a quarter Italian, an eighth Irish, and an eighth English", and that's the type of answer they expect when they ask a white or white-passing person this question.

Do you have an unusual or oddly spelled surname?

I do. It's by marriage, and coworkers sometimes awkwardly ask about it. It won't be the first question they ask - because that would be weird, but it often comes up if it sort of fits the conversation.

I was actually in a similar situation where I wasn't too good with my native tongue so people would constantly ask where I'm from. It's not malicious, people just assume you're not from here if your accent is different.

What kind of job?

People ask me where I’m from a lot because they can’t place my accent, but I don’t think it’s different at work than elsewhere.

I worked a phone line for awhile and people asked where I was from sometimes, but not the whole grandparents spiel.

Time to ask a different question.

Where am I from? No hints.