this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2023
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There Was An Attempt

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There Was An Attempt, and they failed.

Share and discuss of when there was a sincere attempt made and they failed.


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Honestly, I don't believe its fair to say "all you can eat" unless its true. Otherwise, you should put some type of detailed limit.

But attempts must have been made and probably continue.

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[–] UsernameLost@lemmy.ml 69 points 1 year ago (17 children)

I went with my Vietnamese colleague to an all you can eat sushi place in Savannah after we spent two weeks doing hurricane response when I was still in the Coast Guard. This dude ate 32 rolls of sushi, and the old lady running the place loved him. At a certain point, I think she just wanted to see how many it would take before he tapped out. I think I ate ten or twelve rolls, and just sat there in awe while the dude just kept shoveling food into his mouth. To be fair, we'd been working 20 hour days for two weeks and the ship was running out of food before we pulled into port.

Later on, found out that same dude cheated on his wife, then found out his wife was pregnant, they tried to work it out, she had a miscarriage, and he filed for divorce two weeks later. Fun times

[–] RampageDon@lemmy.ml 35 points 1 year ago

That was an M. Night Shamalamadingdong twist to a story about buffets.

[–] WhiteHawk@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

What an emotional rollercoaster this story was

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I had a sushi binge once back in college. I went to eat lunch with my friends at the local Vietnamese place and we definitely overate. I was supposed to meet with my frat sponsor later that night and was worried that I might not get dinner before 9pm. Turns out my sponsor had planned to surprise me by taking me out to a fairly upscale sushi place for dinner since he knew I loved it. We get to the restaurant and he orders "the boat" which contains like 50+ pieces of sushi (for just the two of us). When the food came out I was worried I wouldn't be able to eat but turns out I can make extra space for sushi. I demolished that boat and ate more than my sponsor. He was legit impressed when I finally admitted that I had eaten a big lunch before hand.

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[–] Climinteedus@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I liked the first half of this story :(

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[–] pec@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine four guys that workout a lot, trying to gain mass after a cut, going to an all you can eat sushi place...

The waitress was just laughing her ass off when passing by our table and seeing another order slip, we filled the table four times before we felt we had enough...

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[–] Potato_in_my_anus@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It must've been the 100 rolls of sushi that provoke the cheating...

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[–] lemonadebunny@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Have you ever considered writing for the Saw films?

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[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

All you can reasonably eat within a given time limit does roll off the tongue

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Would be more honest though. If I'm taking it slow eating then I'm taking it slow goddammit.

[–] pjhenry1216@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I think this is targeting folks who finish eating a meal and then never leave the restaurant. So a more technical truth would be all you can eat within the reasonable definition of how long one meal lasts.

[–] Ghoti_@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me and 5 other fatties in middle school (like almost 20 years ago) got kicked out of a CiCi’s pizza for eating too much food in like 30 minutes.

We were like the first people who ate so much that they started losing money lmao

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[–] DrChickenbeer@artemis.camp 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is quoting a famous stand up comedy routine by John Pinnette:

https://youtu.be/aLkTuWdKrqY?si=W6b8bXI4IgvSSjiW

[–] Bealte@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

May he rest in peace. I miss his comedy.

[–] kool_newt@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

This runs through my head every time I think about buffets.

[–] guycls@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 34 points 1 year ago (6 children)
[–] Techmaster@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

You be here four hour! You go home now!

[–] bazus1@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

god rest is funny, funny soul

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Eat vegetable!

[–] TronnaRaps@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

Eat brocorri

[–] TurnItOff_OnAgain@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Get out of the line

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[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I get what you're saying OP, but 'all you can eat' doesn't mean eat, digest for a few hours and go eat more...

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[–] CrayonRosary@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There was an attempt to make a funny post by a person who doesn't know this is a direct quote from a comedian.

[–] KrisND@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Could you cite the direct quote? Curious because I typed it up myself based on my own thought. The photo is more like a meme now.

[–] 1ird@notyour.rodeo 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

John Pinette is who you're looking for.

[–] KrisND@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] 1ird@notyour.rodeo 4 points 1 year ago

Sorry I couldn't get you a link. I was in a hurry when I replied.

[–] El_Segundo@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Do these seem like the actions of a man who had "ALL HE COULD EAT?"

seriously though just put a 1 hour limit on it

[–] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's all you can eat in 4 hours restaurant

[–] Retrograde@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

3 hours 59 minutes* restaurant

[–] kool_newt@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

When I was a kid 84 yrs ago, me and my friend would go to Sizzler for all-you-can-eat. We'd stay about 4 hrs, we would try to eat as much as we could and try to drop a deuce to eat more lol.

...and I just realized that's like bullemia of the ass.

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[–] JJROKCZ@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

All you can eat for one meal, they can’t have you sitting there for 8 hours when you’re only going to be eating at most 2 of those 8. You’re taking up space that could be used by other guests if you’re just setting up camp in the restaurant

[–] eee@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Most buffet restaurants get around this by closing for one hour between lunch and dinner, and/or a maximum time limit.

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[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Alright, who tried to squat in this restaurant after paying for the buffet?

[–] KrisND@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The entry was $18, the sign said open 24hrs...I was just trying to save on rent and food.

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[–] ChillPill@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

what did you do after you left the all you can eat buffet?

We pretty much went straight home.

Mrs Simpson, may I remind you that you are under oath.

We drove around for 4 hours looking for another all you can eat seafood buffet

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"You can't make me stop. The sign says 'All you can eat for 16.99."

"Yes sir. 4 plates is all you can eat for $16.99.

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[–] Transcriptionist@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Image Transcription:

A photo of a restaurant window with the text decal reading: Chinese Restaurant All you can eat buffet Not mean all day buffet You no come stay 4 hour You eat - you go home

[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]

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[–] Pixel@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 year ago

This is funny but not a great way to express it as a business. Why not simplify and clarify, like: "all you can eat* buffet. * limited to one meal in one hour" perhaps add "no loitering" but maybe not needed

[–] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Used to do this when I was a teenager. Group of friends would shuffle into the china buffet around 2, then stay for 4 hours or so, so you can get two meals for the price of one.

we'd sit in the smoking section, smoke cigarettes and fuck around. We made up our own language with something like 50 words, all reenacted to a degree. to say "butterfly" you had to act out a caterpillar being slowly dissolved in it's own cocoon juices before emerging minutes later as a butterfly. it was a wonderful time.

we only ever sat there for hours when nobody else was there, though. if the place was crowded we'd eat and go so as not to be jerks

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Imagine if you will...

A society so morally bankrupt....

That a sign like this is necessary.

😂

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[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 4 points 1 year ago

All you can eat 1 hour

[–] 99nights@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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