Whow. This is both amazing and funny. It is also musically blunt and uninteresting, but still amazing.

I'm not saying this sarcastically: have you tried to apply some common sense to that scenario?

You can look into inform6 and inform7 (totally different beasts, they are not older/newer versions of the same thing), TADS, or something like Quest perhaps. There should be more but these are the first that come to mind.

Last time I checked, homebrew on Linux only included cli apps. GUI apps are only available on mac. So you couldn't use it to install a browser anyway.

No, the original Pi B can play 1080p video just fine. The video is not decoded by the CPU. H264 and older codecs play just fine. It cannot handle h265 videos as it doesn't have a hardware decoder for those. Kodi works just fine in fact. The interface is a little bit slow, but actual video playback is fine.

for i in $( ls *.gif ); do fmpeg -i $i -vf "crop=w:h:x:y" cropped_$i; done

This runs on Linux/Mac or on WSL on windows Make sure there are no spaces in the filenames.

Ah, the best kind of indent. A tab and a space.

Everything. Literally everything can be fatal in large enough quantities. Quote from one of my chemistry professors: "there are no lethal substances, only lethal doses"

Spotube should be able to download tracks: https://spotube.krtirtho.dev/

Nonsense. The plane obviously accidentally collided with a surface-to-air missile that was randomly flying at the aircraft's vicinity. Nothing to see here, move on.

FreeOTP+ from fdroid is what I'm using.

I just found ServeIt on fdroid. I tried it with a simple html website and it works on my phone. It does exactly what you ask.