Fuck, this is how I find out Mullvad is dropping support for port forwarding.
I already have a protonmail account, guess I'll get the VPN too now. My entire setup relies on using wireguard on the firewall level, so another solution like i2p won't work
nginx 100% isn't the problem, and you're right on all counts. I'll also add that I've seen reports that Lemmy has some pretty poorly optimized SQL queries.
They need to add support for a message broker system like RabbitMQ. That way their poor postgres instance stops being the bottleneck.