this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2024
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The Onion

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Parents worldwide have proposed a new group of events that showcase the everyday heroics required to raise children. These proposed events promise to be as grueling as the triathlon.

1. The Family Dog Walk The Family Dog Walk combines canine management with child safety in a chaotic, high-stakes event. Participants must walk two untrained dogs on leashes while pushing a stroller and ensuring a toddler doesn't dart into oncoming traffic. This event requires world-class coordination, iron-clad patience, and the reflexes of a professional athlete. Extra points for picking up dog poop without the stroller rolling away.

2. The Toddler PJ Wrestling Match Inspired by the ancient art of Greco-Roman wrestling, the Toddler PJ Wrestling Match challenges parents to wrestle a wriggling toddler into a pair of zip-up pajamas that are at least one size too small. Competitors must contend with the notorious "alligator roll," where the toddler thrashes and flails with the agility of a gazelle. Points are awarded for speed, technique, and completing the match without the parent or toddler crying.

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EDIT: Changed article picture to stock photo due to feedback

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[โ€“] Tagger@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hey, sorry, I thought my sarcasm was more obvious. I don't think there is anything wrong with you using the ai art. Keep on going with your side-gig!!

[โ€“] tattletaletimes@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

no i understood! i started it with a 'thank you' but i could see how you could think that. I obviously am fluent in sarcasm or i wouldn't have this website.