this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
325 points (96.3% liked)

Programmer Humor

32031 readers
1035 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Can you please activate your webcams?

Please choose a sticky note color to use for this meeting

Please take one of these smiley stickers and tell the others how you feel now

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] DagonPie@kbin.social 31 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I started at a new company and have been filling a scrum master role until they find me a replacement and I can move to the position I was supposed to be hired for and honestly, its the worst job I've ever had. Its literally hand holding and baby sitting. Its terrible. I almost got pushed in front of traffic when I asked "why cant the engineers move their own boards...?"

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your company and mine seem to be very different. We have agile coaches, but they mostly organise cooperation and shoulder check our stakeholders if they try to scope creep some bullshit in.

[–] DagonPie@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We also have agile coaches but the way my team uses jira is not at all how its supposed to be used. They are basically forcing it on us and people arent thrilled so the agile coaches are trying to mold it to what they want but they dont want it. Its a whole thing. Im also not a scrum master, Im an engineer pretending to be a scrum master as well as doing my other work and our agile coaches are...clueless for lack of a better word. Jira works great for our other teams. Just not the team Im on.

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, that sucks. Let's hope for better times my friend

[–] DagonPie@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey thanks I appreciate it. Like I said, just waiting for them to find a real scrum master for my team then I get to do my actual job but at least its pushing me into more of a "people skill" position. Trying to silver lining it haha

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

The temporary construct is the most durable of them all 😔

[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The dirty secret is there are no SCRUM masters.

There are engineers with SCRUM training. There are project managers with SCRUM training. There are product owners with SCRUM training.

The organization believes in SCRUM master as a discipline. Physics does not.

I'm not sure if I'm being sarcastic or not. Let's call it 80/20.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

checking in from the 45 minute "stand up" in which 10 people have their cameras on but only 3 people speak. So we all know we're just working with the window as close to the camera as possible so it looks like we're listening

[–] DagonPie@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One of the teams in my pod are SO BUSY right now and I know they dont want to be in a meeting every day and no one talks and I have to roll through this daily script and I am met with deafening silence and its crushing. I want to tell my boss "dude this isnt benefitting anyone" but its what the company wants. And everyone suffers for it.

[–] korthrun@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

no one talks

met with deafening silence

This reminds me of children who will get their toothbrush wet, put a little paste on their tongue so it smells like mint, run the water for 2 minutes, but not actually brush their teeth. You know, because they don't want to, and/or they don't understand the point.

They just know that the parents say they need to do this thing, and they'd rather be off playing. You're standing there for two minutes holding a wet toothbrush and staring at yourself in the mirror. Why not just brush your teeth?

I get it, they're very busy. They're already gonna be on the call for 15 minutes. Just participate ya know. Why choose to make that 15 minutes a complete waste? I expect the above from a child, not people with jobs in tech =/

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Scrum master = project manager.

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Definitely not, Scrummasters should not be connected to the project at all. Their job goes directly against it, a PM is a stakeholder who will ask for everything to be done immediately, and needs to get stuff done. A Scrummaster should be neutral, and should uphold the process and defend the dev team.

Common scenario:

  • PM: "I need this task done immediately"
  • Scrummaster: "This task does not have any definition, and the team is already working on things. Once you have requirements we can discuss options on prioritization for next sprint"

That right there highlights where a scrummaster should be working. Most companies do treat them as neutered dogs though, and don't give them the power. True scrummasters have the ability to push back on PMs and defend their teams, keeping developers out of it so they can stay heads down. (Less useless meetings)

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A project manager should never be a stakeholder. A project manager should be managing expectations and pushing back against scope creep and ridiculous demands for immediate results as part of managing the project based on available resources and the estimates of the project team compared to overall progress. They will also address situations where different interacting parts need to be timed correctly, but that would also be the same responsibility of a scrum master, because they manage the project when using agile terms.

Most places treat project managers as neutered middle men who are implementing the will of the stakeholders, which is why so many end up being the terrible type that you are stereotyping project managers to be. Those same organizations will do the same thing to the scrum master or whatever name they give to the person who is supposed to be managing the project. You know, a project manager.

Probably right, in my experience you're describing a Product Owner, someone who is neutral on the business side who takes care of prioritization in a netural way vs a Project Manager, who does have requests, asks, and demands of the dev team

[–] vlad76@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 year ago

That sounds awful, I feel for you.