this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
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https://www.mystateline.com/news/national/almost-half-of-young-men-have-never-approached-a-woman-romantically-study/

“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.

A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.

The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”

It's interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.

From what I understand it's the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don't think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.

Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don't want to risk misinterpreting it.

Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?

p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.

Edit: Here is a more detailed paper on the survey for those that are interested

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[–] z00s@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Or, maybe people shouldn't do those things

[–] LotrOrc@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Generally yes. But you also control how you react to things. Not everyone, especially not strangers, can be held accountable for how you react. There's just not enough time in the day to know how every single random person will take things, and by the same token, you don't know how many times that person has dealt with the same situation that made them finally snap

It would be great if everyone was kind all the time, but that's just blatantly not gonna happen. You can try to be kind all the time, but that does not mean you will succeed. I've never purposefully tried to hurt my girlfriends feelings, and she's never purposefully tried to hurt mine. But we've still gotten in fights and we've still hurt each other, and we're still together and have let things go. If you sit there with every single random person on the street who shouts something at you and hold onto it then you're not really gonna do well in the world. If you then choose to be a hermit and not talk to people, you have absolutely no right to complain that you can't make relationships work.