this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023
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[I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]
Oh yeah I remember this whole fiasco. The argument was literally just attraction to body types/features versus attraction to genders. This person was expressing that they're only attracted to archetypaly "female" body features but are open to dating any one of any gender identity. The whole fight is basically just people thinking that they're fetishizing trans men when they're just expressing that well they're fine with dating someone with a masculine identity, they don't think it would work if the person wasn't comfortable in a feminine body. I don't really want to get into this again, but there's nothing wrong with that in it of itself.
Some folks refuse to believe there are different levels of dysphoria. Like so many things, it's a spectrum.
Seriously! I'm transfem, have been for years, 2 years on hormones, but I have no problem with my voice. Let it be masculine! Who the fuck cares. It doesn't matter! Lot of trans people feel similar ways about different things
Due to hormone issues, I was basically presented with a choice to transition if I wanted. It was a serious consideration that I had to make. Took over a year to decide. I wished I was fem (still kinda do) but I couldn't part with my lil buddy. Femboys weren't really a thing back then, so yeah. Not every GQ person needs to want to undergo GRS to "qualify" as trans. Gatekeepy bullshit.
REAL. thank you for sharing your story!
Hi, that was me (on my kbin account). That's a quote pulled out of context. It was just a response to a direct question about whether I personally was attracted to trans men. It's not a fetishization.
[I got a bot to automatically delete all my comments over 1 month old so you can’t see this comment anymore]
That's why I said it probably wouldn't work. Most trans people would feel uncomfortable in that situation, so of course we wouldn't pursue a relationship.
I did know someone (casually, did not date) who was a pre-transition trans man who wasn't terribly bothered by letting cis men enjoy his boobs, which is why I brought up that specific scenario. I don't know if he dated cis men, but it wouldn't surprise me. I also assume that if he did, then the relationship would probably stay pretty casual with a planned end date of whenever he started physically transitioning.
There's also a reason Moss - and most people, including Ada - were frustrated enough with the reports to publicly say "this is not transphobia". Because it's not, and some people are too quick to be triggered.
It helps that there was an entire instance trawling our posts, looking for any controversy to amplify into the short story du jour.
I’m all for talking about these things and figuring out what norms we want to uphold in our spaces. I’m not in favor of waves hands whatever this has turned out to be.