this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: "I am just not so into skinny guys."

I think this is fair from the woman's perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: 'all women are whores'-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don't want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

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[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

My guess is, that you keep talking to the wrong women or you try to advance into a relationship too fast

In my experience, both women and men can and often do see past the physical outer and see the personality behind. The appearance is, as you say, the catalyst for initial attraction but if you keep at it, and maybe continue talking with people they should be able to see past their requirement of you not being skinny. If not, they may be using it as an excuse for not really feeling the convection. If they indeed like you as a person but not your body, then you are probably better off without them.

Also remember. No rellationship, is better than being in a bad rellationship. We all need to go through relationship's to get better at being in one but there is no reason to look for one just to have one. It needs to be with the right person and looks play a pretty small part in this, in the long run