this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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[–] zndl972@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do you really feel like you’re coercing a waitress when you tip?

[–] blackbrook@mander.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

This is an interesting analogy. I do get the sense that many waitresses and waiters hate their job, and do it because of lack of other options. However I do feel that by using their services and paying them, I'm helping them. They've made this choice, under a certain amount of coercion from the circumstances and system (which most of us suffer from to some degree, working because we have to), but my helping them get paid is helping them. I do find it important to be nice to them and treat them as real people, even moreso than people with whom my interaction is on a more equal footing.

However there is nuance here in matters of degree. I think I can tell when a place treats their staff well or shittily--it tends to slow in their attitude. I prefer not to patronize a place when I get that shitty vibe.

It's interesting to think about how this translates to sex work. If I used such services, I would want to feel like the person I paid somewhat enjoyed her job.

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Does waiting tables and having sex with strangers feel similar to you? These jobs aren’t comparable from a psychological standpoint. I never heard that it’s common for waiters to be substance users or have PTSD.

[–] zndl972@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Weirdly enough, restaurant workers are some of the highest substance users group. A Google search on this subject is quite surprising.

[–] ParsnipWitch@feddit.de 0 points 1 year ago

It's not even close to sex workers which have the highest amount of substance abuse among all professions.