this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
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I save money by not even using lemons. I simply add a minute amount of dehydroxyl-5-ca carbomethyl-tridiamine hexanepolyethylene which tastes vaguely lemony but also causes elbow cancer. Treatment for which is patented by one of my subsidiary companies, so I make a good chunk of income with the cause and cure for that one specific disease.
The best part is that dehydroxyl-5-ca carbomethyl-tridiamine hexanepolyethylene turns bright yellow when it comes in contact with the fecal matter so we get our water from the city that pays us to process their municipal waste water and we save money dyes. Win-win-win win-win.
But knowingly selling elbow-cancer-juice is illegal, that's why we paid for a study that showed it didn't. We'll also fight any claims that it does in court to the death