The Onion

4698 readers

863 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

519

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 2 months ago by geekwithsoul@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social

94 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I’m torn. Both Galadriel and Sauron say the other is a threat to Middle-earth. One has to be wrong, so whom am I to trust? Should I trust the Dark Lord who attempted to topple the White City of Gondor, dominate all life, and attempt to stay in power for eternity? Or do I trust the Elf Queen representing the coalition of Men and Elves who defeated Sauron when he tried to enslave the Free Peoples… but could maybe do more meet-and-greets?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 21 points 2 months ago

but my best shot at getting any of them is to vote for the person who seems the most sane

Once again, you're a liberal that seeks the aesthetics of what you perceive as normalcy over any other possible value. It's lowkey ableist shit that ignores that plenty of "sane" nazis carried out their duties with diligent "sane" efficiency before and during WW2, and many were perceived as so "sane" that after the war they became founding members of NATO.