this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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"It is what it is"
I get the sentiment behind it, it's just usually so defeatist/dismissive of a situation to me.
That’s now how people in my subculture use it.
They use it to mean “it’s too late to avoid this problem; let’s talk about things we can change at this point”.
Example:
“If you hadn’t stopped at that rest area the killer never would have slashed our tires”
“Well if you hadn’t jumped for those cheap tires maybe he wouldn’t have been able to slash them with a butter knife”
“And if you’d paid for the triple A we’d have a ride by now”
“Look, it is what it is. Let’s just figure out a way to get back to town without having to follow the road”
Don't leave us hanging! Finish the story! Please let the person that said "it is what it is" die a gruesome, dark, and slow death. But not me because I didn't really say it.. I was quoting, and that doesn't count.
I’m currently going through a pretty bad divorce where my wife cheated on me, drained my accounts, lawyered up and send a letter demanding $280,000 and isn’t signing documents or responding to her legal council.
I’d love to get it all finalised and end that chapter of my life but realistically I can’t force her to do anything. I can’t make her sign documents, I can’t make her talk to her lawyer. So ultimately it is what it is.
Frankly, that saying has (since our separation) become an anthem to me. I can understand why you’d think it’s defeatism etc if it’s someone speaking of something they can legitimately do something about but truely sometimes it really is what it is.