askchapo

I must just be really used to this behavior because it doesn't bother me at all, but it's been happening my entire life (I'm over 40). Usually I just agree that it's boring and move on. Sometimes I just keep going anyway because it's not boring to me and in exchange I listen to their boring stuff.

I'm autistic, so my experience/interpretation is likely very different from the average person. I generally prefer a person to tell me if they're bored because I'm not going to pick it up any other way (when I try I usually just misinterpret something)

However, the person you're describing here seems like someone I would avoid. Anyone who gets defensive when you tell them they are hurting your feelings probably does feel attacked or blamed. Likely because they're used to being attacked and blamed by their family or whatnot. Self-esteem can also play a big role in this kind of defensiveness.

Basically, they gotta deal with their own shit before they'll ever stop this kind of behavior. You don't have to put up with it, but you probably won't get them to change either. The best thing you can do is communicate as clearly as you can why they're hurting you and then just stop interacting with them. They'll either learn or they won't. If that's difficult for you, then don't even bother explaining yourself because you don't owe them anything. I think explaining it can help people in the long-term, especially if you're not the only one saying it.